Diagnosis day always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. No one is. Even those more prepared—those of us who had the word autism circling the back of our minds like wispy smoke at a campfire—well, our knees still buckle at the formal announcement. How could they not? Autism. The next day we […]
When it came to sending our son Jack to a college program, we weren’t exactly on the same page. We talked about it night after night. We argued. We took turns making our case for why we should send him, and why he wasn’t ready. In the end we decided to try. Drop off day […]
“I would like spaghetti. With meatballs.” I saw you glance at him. It happens a lot. People often glance at my son. Then they look away, unsure of what to make of him. They don’t know what to make of his movements, his downcast eyes, his curtailed speech. My son. He was dressed a little […]
What did you think when he walked in for his appointment? Maybe you saw a tall boy with glasses and thought nothing about it at all. Then he rubbed his hands together fast, like he’s warming up at a campfire. Or he hopped from one foot to the other, trying to regulate his nervous system. […]
Tender Mama, Forever Father. I know how nervous you are to begin this new school year. I know because I was you. I know because I am you. The days are still warm and bright, but the sun shines a little differently now. The air is tinged with change as summer comes to a close. […]
I had the son who bit the teacher. I had the son who couldn’t wait in line at the zoo, or sit through a meal in a restaurant, or play tag at recess. I had the son who slept fitfully and woke at dawn. I had the son people stared at in the grocery store. […]
My husband Joe and I have been married for twenty-four years. This is half my life. Once upon a time, he and I stood upon a concrete campus, hands clasped. My heart was racing. The trees glowed with autumn sunshine. If we knew all that was ahead of us, would we have stayed there, fingers intertwined? […]
“It’s funny, but as a kid, you also kind of watch your parents grow up.” We had been joking about grey hair and reading glasses—the impending signs of middle age. I turned to see his profile next to me in the passenger seat—this 16-year old son of mine who is so full of life, he […]
I was in a hotel gym recently, running on the treadmill. I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me. He was in town touring a college for his son. “He is very smart,” he remarked casually as he fiddled with his laces. “Like really smart.” Sometimes comments like this mean nothing to […]
Once upon a time, a baby boy was born. In a small apartment in Brooklyn, New York, people came to welcome the infant. A young man named Anthony. A 16-year old girl named Adua. Carefully, they smiled at one another across the room. Two years later, they were married. They had six kids. Their six […]