I was in a hotel gym recently, running on the treadmill. I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me. He was in town touring a college for his son. “He is very smart,” he remarked casually as he fiddled with his laces. “Like really smart.” Sometimes comments like this mean nothing to […]
Once upon a time, a baby boy was born. In a small apartment in Brooklyn, New York, people came to welcome the infant. A young man named Anthony. A 16-year old girl named Adua. Carefully, they smiled at one another across the room. Two years later, they were married. They had six kids. Their six […]
How can the sun rise if she’s not here to see it? Being a daughter-in-law can be weird. I think we can all agree on that. You raised him, I’d banter. But you married him, she’d counter. Over the years I carried my petty gripes to her like so many green apples in a pail. The […]
I am married to a man named Joe. We have four boys and one girl. Our second Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. What can I tell you about my husband? He doesn’t have a middle name. He loves calamari, Wordle, board games of any kind, the Buffalo Bills, and watching thunderstorms from the […]
Don’t mind me. I’m just a mom, sitting in a minivan, crying behind my sunglasses. I have a son about your age. His name is Jack. He has autism. A few days ago we dropped him off at a college program. This program is geared for kids like Jack, who need extra support for daily […]
The clock reads 6:12. You and I stand together in the kitchen, as we’ve done thousands of times before. Yet this morning feels different. It is our last tender meeting in the early yellow light. The car is packed. Your new comforter, carefully chosen at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. A duffel bag full of shorts […]
“If this doesn’t work out, you’ll just find another program!” “Actually,” I said, “There really aren’t any other programs for him.” “Of course there are!” “No,” I told her, “There aren’t.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll find something.” Standing next to this lovely woman with a small plate in my hand, I felt something wash over […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. I am all the time trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging […]
My oldest son. My firstborn child. The first in our family. I am counting on you. Of course I am. How could it be any other way? It isn’t fair. I know. I used to think life was fair. Then autism came on the scene in the shape of a 9-pound, 3-ounce baby boy named […]
To my son with autism, For the last eighteen years, I’ve made your bed. In the beginning, I smoothed striped crib sheets around a tiny mattress. Then there was the Thomas the Train quilt, followed by a pillowcase printed with license plates. Now, a blue and red plaid comforter. I make your bed instead of […]