Things went a little wrong the day I was born. I was very early. I was very small. I came fast-like and there were a lot of people moving and talking around me. Suddenly, the room felt smaller and smaller and the walls were getting too close and there wasn’t enough air and I was […]
Motherhood is a curious thing. For many of us, it starts with tiny pink ears shaped like seashells. Soft newborn sighs, mingled with raging postpartum hormones. Before you know it, a few uncertain steps on wobbly legs, the first word, a game of patty-cake. From there, it follows a fairly predictable path: preschool, kindergarten, untied shoelaces, […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. I used to think the hardest part of autism was the day we got the actual diagnosis—the day I walked into the cold rain of a November afternoon, and attempted to zip my squirming toddler’s jacket. I was […]
Autism is a blue-pen diagnosis scrawled across white paper. Low executive functioning. Poor social skills. Obsessive-compulsive behavior. Severe anxiety. Autism is unpredictable. It is unusual, and unexpected. It is rigidity, tenacity, and ability, all rolled into one complicated mind. It is a father’s determination. This father, see, he hurts. Sure, […]
Five days ago, you left for a trip halfway around the world. It’s been five days since I’ve seen your face. Five days since I’ve insisted you comb your hair before you left for the bus. I almost knocked on your door this morning to remind you to get up for school. In the grocery […]
It’s April now. Here in New Hampshire, we are treated to the occasional shirt-sleeve day, when the sun warms your arms and you can cast your jacket aside. April is Autism Awareness Month. My son has autism. His name is Jack. He is almost fifteen. What can I tell you about autism that you don’t […]
I was cleaning out the playroom this weekend, and I came across the popular book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss. I thumbed through it and I couldn’t help but think how my son Jack has so few opportunities for celebration. I want him to know that is all okay. I want to remind him […]
My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son, Jack, has autism. My story is not a new story. It is neither original, nor untold. My story of autism is, quite simply, an account of a bewildered mother trying to enjoy the moment in front of her, with one eye constantly trained on […]
Hello. I’m not sure if you remember me. We saw each other yesterday. You kept twisting around to look at us, even after the movie started. I liked your sweatshirt. My daughter used to love dinosaurs when she was your age, too. She wore a pink hat with one on it almost every day in […]
Editor’s note: I wrote this piece from my son Jack’s point of view, based on many conversations he and I have shared. One time my mother told me about this movie she watched. It was by a man named Alfred Hitchcock. In the movie, a woman is lying in a hospital bed. Her face is covered […]