My husband Joe doesn’t buy me flowers. It’s not his way. When I was younger this bothered me a little. Once upon a time in early fall, he and I stood upon a concrete campus, hands clasped, hearts racing. The trees glowed. If we knew all that was ahead of us, would we have stayed together, […]
I have a son with autism. His name is Jack. He is seventeen. Every morning, I make Jack’s bed. I pull the sheets up tight. I smooth the blue plaid quilt and stack the pillows. I do it even though he is perfectly capable of doing it himself. I’m not even sure he notices, to […]
Lately, when it comes to our son and his autism, we are not, as they say, on the same page. I mean, it’s not like we haven’t been here before. Typically I latch onto an idea—integrated preschool, music therapy—and you don’t say much. You nod your head and I take that as agreement. Except we aren’t […]
I’d like to apologize for my son Jack’s behavior today. He didn’t answer when you asked what grade he’s in or look up when you commented on his height. Still you packed our bags cheerfully—the new pitcher for iced tea, the yellow placemats, the fragrant candles. But I felt a tension settle over us like […]
I wanted to hug you tonight. I saw you walk in the door and I tried my best to smile. But I just couldn’t bring myself to reach for you. I can’t explain why. After all, we embraced this morning. It was light, and easy. It suggested a good day ahead. The problem is, a […]
Can I tell you a secret? It’s a little embarrassing, to be honest. We always thought our son Jack would recover from autism. We thought he would “get over it,” or heal, or just morph into a regular old kid who likes to toss a baseball around and fly kites on windy days. For years, […]
My oldest son, Joseph, just started driver’s ed. We usually call him Joey, but lately he’s asked that we call him Joseph, on account of him being fifteen-and-a-half and all. For the uninitiated, driver’s ed is a formal course where teenagers learn how to drive. It’s a combination of classroom work, and time in the […]
Let this be the year we hold the door for one another. We smile at strangers. We plant a tree. We grow a tomato. We stop arguing about red and white and blue and orange. This year, I want to do things. I want to pet my beloved puppy at least a hundred […]
Today, I will be here. I will be here in this house with my kids and my dog and my son with special-needs and my husband who has dark, wavy hair. Today, I will remember that when it comes to autism, there is no right. There is no wrong. There is just me, and a […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am forty-three years old. I am in decent shape. I exercise almost every day, and I don’t take medication, and I don’t have any medical issues. For the most part—aside from the occasional cold in the winter and monthly bouts of PMS—I am healthy. And yet, I often think […]