Don’t mind me. I’m just a mom, sitting in a minivan, crying behind my sunglasses. I have a son about your age. His name is Jack. He has autism. A few days ago we dropped him off at a college program. This program is geared for kids like Jack, who need extra support for daily […]
“If this doesn’t work out, you’ll just find another program!” “Actually,” I said, “There really aren’t any other programs for him.” “Of course there are!” “No,” I told her, “There aren’t.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll find something.” Standing next to this lovely woman with a small plate in my hand, I felt something wash over […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. I am all the time trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging […]
My oldest son. My firstborn child. The first in our family. I am counting on you. Of course I am. How could it be any other way? It isn’t fair. I know. I used to think life was fair. Then autism came on the scene in the shape of a 9-pound, 3-ounce baby boy named […]
The teenage boy stood from his seat and climbed the steps to the stage. Dressed in khaki pants and a plaid shirt, he shook hands easily—with confidence. He stood tall. Watching him, my heart swelled with pride for who he is, and who he may become. At the exact same moment, my mind flashed to […]
Is he high functioning? People often ask me this. It usually comes on the heels of my original offering—the offering of my son’s autism diagnosis, all baby bird in my upturned palm. I understand the question. I understand the desire to find footing upon the slippery bell curve. I understand because I do it all […]
I was chatting with a young mom last week. She told me her son had just been diagnosed with autism. She asked if I had any advice to share. I stumbled through a dumb answer about progress and hope and bell curves. Looking back, I wish I’d told her something else entirely. I wished I’d […]
When my son Jack was six years old, he ran right in front of an oil truck. It was early October. The leaves crunched underfoot—a carpet of red and gold fit for royalty. We were passing out flyers for our annual Halloween party, tucking them into mailboxes down our long, winding street. It was one […]
In our house, we chose the dinner table. It wasn’t always easy. With five kids and autism, there was a fair amount of chaos and noise. Arguments over spilled milk, forks dug into the wooden table, sibling rivalry, arguments about peas. When our son Jack was little he got up and circled the table nine […]
“You mean helicopter mom? Let your son grow up and actually become a functioning adult. This is a mom who plans on doing everything for her child. My kids do not “need” me. That is the goal of parenthood.” It probably meant nothing to you—just a few sentences typed into the comment box. I imagine […]