1. Jodi
    February 15, 2021 @ 9:36 am

    Too burnt out to cry. But yes, teary with recognition. Thank you. Wishing you — wishing all of us — continued strength.


  2. Bobbi
    February 15, 2021 @ 10:24 am

    Yes, all of this. Thank you Carrie for your beautiful and relatable words. It has already been a morning and my head pounds with all of the reminders that this insidious beast of Autism has changed me, changed us and is so relentless. I find reprieve when I read your words and I feel less lonely. Thank you.


    February 15, 2021 @ 1:40 pm

    Me too, most of her almost 36 years alone. It should get easier. But when does it? The worries should go away. Did I do it right? What if I had ………? Trust in the Almighty that He has led us all through this so that each of our children can become the best they were meant to be! Scott


  4. Betsy Lussier
    February 15, 2021 @ 6:07 pm

    So much of this hit home. My God, you have such a gift of putting difficult feelings into words. Always poignant. Beautiful


  5. Kathy Janessa
    February 16, 2021 @ 9:36 am

    It is like your are my daughter the way tell your family story. My daughter and her family live your same life. I am always amazed at her (and your) resilience. I wish I didn’t live 300 miles from them and could give a hand more often. She and I read your message every week. Some tears, some smiles. You are a gifted writer for sure. Thank you.


  6. Lynne Kinghorn
    February 16, 2021 @ 11:51 am

    Yes, every comment is true: you are splendid, and a great mom and gifted writer, and my heart goes out to you. But I am 70 years old, and a retired psychologist, and I want, no, NEED to tell you something: That hug you couldn’t find for your husband may have been your one chance to receive what you needed this day, from the one person who (I trust) will give it to you. If I were in your shoes, I’d want to bash my husband’s brains out because I’m so frustrated and worn out and he’s the only person in the family who isn’t one of your beloved babies. He can take it, right? But he sounds like a regular,. normal husband (with all that means!)
    But I hope you will recover your hugging ability. Not for your husband, but for you. YOU need it.


    February 17, 2021 @ 10:45 am

    Wow, let’s not bash the men here, please. As a general rule most of us do not spend as much time with the children as our wives, but the hair on the back of my neck stands up when I am scorned. I happened to get a different slant on this particular blog from Carrie anyway, in that I was thinking she wanted and needed a hug from Jack, which don’t come as frequently as she would like. My feeling is that she has a pretty supportive hubby because I’ve been following every week for many years, they communicate well, even without words, but if she wanted a hug and asked for one would have had a long caring one to soothe her day. In my case, the wife/birth-mother abandoned us when our disabled (only) child was 7, now 36, because she had her own psychological problems that I discovered from our girl’s neuro-psychiatrist after she left, and she never even came back to visit her. I found out later it wasn’t autism anyway, but a syndrome from an undetectable faulty gene from the mother, with many similar external characteristics.Turns out God had His hand in all of it as the wife was creating problems with services, and I was able to find external aids along the way, plus public schools (which were mostly baby-sitting) and although single parenting is difficult in itself, with a severely disabled child the obstacles go up exponentially. Mentally she tests at 24-30 months and is totally non-verbal, and unable to use computers or any communication forms, but adapted to her group home life within a week when I could no longer take care of her due to my aging body. Covid has kept me away from her for almost a year. Thank you Governor Newsom.


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