It’s late autumn in New Hampshire right now. The leaves are alive with color, but slowly, over the coming weeks, they will drift to the earth’s floor, and the trees will stand bare and empty. It’s late autumn, yet all I can think about is a green and tender May. You see, my son Jack […]
Marriage is hard. Add a few kids, a mortgage, soccer practice, daycare, potty training, Driver’s Ed, and things usually get a little harder. Add in autism and all bets are off, as they say. Autism has a way of amplifying things, you see. It’s kind of like being in a disco, where the lights are […]
The other day I saw a teenage boy dribbling a basketball on the sidewalk, and I felt something squeeze beneath my ribcage. You see, he looked like was around the same age as my 17-year old son, Jack. I can’t remember the last time Jack held a ball in his hands. He hasn’t played on […]
Let me tell you about my son. His name is Jack. He is seventeen years old. He wears glasses and he likes the color blue. He almost always orders a cheeseburger when we go out to eat and he is very, very specific about no lettuce or tomato. He has autism. Autism affects the way […]
My son Jack has autism, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. He was diagnosed with autism before he was two. Anxiety crushed him like a ton of bricks when he was six. And obsessive-compulsive disorder? Well, we have no start date for that. It simply seeped into our lives like water in the basement. Every once in […]
I’m sorry, miss, he can’t order the chicken tenders. They’re only on the kids’ menu and it’s for twelve and under. My son. You stood in line for the diving board. And I forgot to feel proud. You tried a bite of lasagna. And I forgot to feel proud. You laughed out loud during dinner. […]
Hey Mom, what did you do today? What did I do? Well, I did nothing. And I did everything. I made a bed and pulled the sheets tight. I noticed a broken window blind, and scheduled an appointment for the eye doctor. What did you do today? Everything and nothing. Nothing and everything. I filled […]
It was exactly how I pictured it. You went one way, and we turned and went the other. You climbed the stairs to your dorm room. We climbed back into the car and drove home. In the very beginning, you called me Mama. You toddled around on skinny legs with your arms in the air and […]
Lady, there’s no way I can fix this. Oh, okay. By the way, my name is Car— I mean, has the vent ever been cleaned? I stood next to the repair man as we both peered into the dryer. Well, I think it might be— No, listen it’s not that. You don’t know. I glanced […]
I’ve known you since I was nineteen. We’ve been married for twenty-three years. We’ve moved twice. We have five kids, and one dog. It’s easy to explain our life together in terms of time and numbers, and yet it is anything but years and digits. It is a first kiss. A sonogram. A family. Today, […]