10 Comments

  1. pammeboutselis
    May 29, 2017 @ 6:53 am

    Wow, Carrie. This sure is universal. Beautifully conveyed.

    Reply

  2. Tammy
    May 29, 2017 @ 8:45 am

    Yes, the marriage suffers when autism comes into the ffamily. We almost lost ours and I am so grateful that my husband loved me enough to let me be the jerk on the island. It took us hours of therapy, reading many books and finally…….having me let go. I went to work and Hubby came home. Hubby did Special Olympics so that our son could do sports without the heckals from the parents & grandparents when he tried regular sports.

    I am now the stay at home parent and Hubby is back to work. I am doing my best to not even look at the island. 🙂

    Reply

  3. Ann Kilter
    May 29, 2017 @ 9:12 am

    My husband was the person who was the routine director of our household. He set the bedtime routines and the get up routines. He also taught them about friendly teasing. And humor. Silly humor. About storytelling. I was the person who dealt with the school system, the church, the therapy. We’ve done it together. Now, even though the kids are in their late 20s and early 30s, there are still things to teach.

    Reply

  4. Scott Wilcox
    May 29, 2017 @ 10:00 am

    Thank you again, Carrie.
    To all your blog followers:
    If you are the one on the island, work very hard to keep the other parent at least interested. Carrie found out that there were other things being done that she didn’t notice at first, but were important, too. After 5 years, my wife gave up and was happy to watch others do her jobs, and confined herself to bed. She happily just picked up and left two years later. With help from my parents until they both passed away, I’ve been doing it all, alone, for 25 years.
    Most of the time it’s ok, and my girl is extremely happy and healthy, but during medical emergencies, or when major life decisions must be made, it would sure be nice to have the mother’s hand pushing me from the back with a little support.
    Don’t drive your spouse away.

    Reply

  5. kyle
    May 29, 2017 @ 10:29 am

    This was one of the hardest articles I have ever read of yours. I love your stories. My son is high functioning so my challenges are not quite as challenging but the are their own challenge. You pin pointed my personality to the core. My ex-husband never had a prayer. My son is 29. I share now. I try to share even more because now I know my son needs him. I wish I hadn’t been “That person”. Whew. Thanks soooooo much for your share. It truly brought tears. xox

    Reply

  6. Shelly Harris
    May 29, 2017 @ 6:44 pm

    I love this . Your writing is my favorite! We had similar… first baby …. then with our second, it was better, and he’s autistic! Autism actually took some of the m-in-law pressure off…lord that mother in law and ex love of money destroyed my marriage. But, my autistic son kept me seeing the happiest part in life. He always tells me to “smile”!

    Reply

  7. Carol Casavant
    May 30, 2017 @ 11:07 am

    I read your blog every week…you speak for all of us…I am the grandmotherof an 8 year old autistic child who is on the autism spectrum…thank you from the bottom of my heart…!!

    Reply

  8. Emily Pelton
    June 1, 2017 @ 12:27 pm

    My marriage dissolved ten years ago. In small part because of undiagnosed autism, in part because of me being The Person, and many other unrelated parts too. I spent years working on not being The Person. I was finally getting better at it and then my exhusband died unexpectedly with no warning in January. And now I have to be The Person and it’s incredibly difficult.

    I hope others can learn from your experiences and maybe mine too.

    Reply

  9. Dawne
    June 5, 2017 @ 8:45 am

    Wow. This made me cry. I am The Person because there is no one else who can be. Your words, as always, describe us so well. Thank you.

    Reply

  10. Janet A. (Grandmother)
    June 6, 2017 @ 2:20 pm

    You always touch my heart with your writing. My grandson will graduate from High School in two weeks. He also is on the spectrum and his mother (My Daughter) has been alone ever since he was nine. It has not been easy and will continue to be a challenge as he starts a new life change. I so admire her as I do you for the love, compassion, and patience she has shown. Your words always give me comfort.Thank you from the bottom of my Heart.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: