I wrote my first blog post on May 9th, 2015. It was a letter to my son Jack on his eighth birthday. Since then, I have written every single Monday – nearly 500 new essays. Many of you have been reading about our journey for over a decade – the highs and lows of autism, […]
It’s late. Joe turns over beside me in bed. He mumbles something in his sleep. I envy his rest. My mind wanders, as it seems to every night at this time. I think of my son Jack. I feel an ache that is too familiar to describe. Autism grief is something that never quite disappears. […]
A family is at once the easiest and the hardest thing to build. Think of it as a garden. Maybe you expected rows and rows of neat tulips, standing straight and tall in their church pews. You pictured them eating organic apples and placing the cores neatly in the trash can. Instead, you have a field […]
Late afternoon sunlight drifts across my desk. The trees outside are bare, their dusty leaves collecting on the ground. I read the text from my brother. Then I read it again. My childhood home. Sold. A family with two little girls. It’s been four months since my mother passed away. It seems impossibly long and […]
I know, it’s confusing. It’s confusing to me, too. You hardly knew her. We rarely talked about her. My mother. I’m erratic lately. For as long as I can remember, I’ve tried not to be erratic. Yet since she passed away, I’ve wept without notice. Every afternoon around 3:00, a deep fatigue overwhelms me. I try […]
“Tell me about his diet. Does he eat a wide range of foods?” I hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I reach for a gallon of milk. “Oh, yes, he eats almost everything!” Another intake call. That’s what I find myself on in the middle of the grocery store. The young […]
Marriage is hard. Add a few kids, a mortgage, soccer practice, daycare, potty training, Driver’s Ed, and things can get a little dicey. Add in autism and all bets are off, as they say. Autism has a way of amplifying things. It’s kind of like being in a disco, where the lights are flashing and […]
I had the son who bit the teacher. I had the son who couldn’t wait in line at the zoo, or sit through a meal in a restaurant, or play tag during recess. I had the son who slept fitfully and woke at dawn. I had the son people stared at in the grocery store. I […]
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cariello. Your son doesn’t seem to be a good fit for our summer program.” Spring always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. Just as the landscape comes to life in all its green glory, every obligation imaginable calls our name. Yet hiding right behind every fresh new blossom is […]
Inside every photo is a story. You may not see it right away. At first you might observe the shimmering water and the way it meets the shoreline. You admire the color of the setting sun. From there, you notice the boy. A young man, really. He looks relaxed. Ever since my son Jack was […]