I was chatting with a young mom last week. She told me her son had just been diagnosed with autism. She asked if I had any advice to share. I stumbled through a dumb answer about progress and hope and bell curves. Looking back, I wish I’d told her something else entirely. I wished I’d […]
My husband Joe doesn’t buy me flowers. It’s not his way. When I was younger this bothered me a little. Once upon a time in early fall, he and I stood upon a concrete campus, hands clasped, hearts racing. The trees glowed. If we knew all that was ahead of us, would we have stayed together, […]
When my son Jack was six years old, he ran right in front of an oil truck. It was early October. The leaves crunched underfoot—a carpet of red and gold fit for royalty. We were passing out flyers for our annual Halloween party, tucking them into mailboxes down our long, winding street. It was one […]
In our house, we chose the dinner table. It wasn’t always easy. With five kids and autism, there was a fair amount of chaos and noise. Arguments over spilled milk, forks dug into the wooden table, sibling rivalry, arguments about peas. When our son Jack was little he got up and circled the table nine […]
“You mean helicopter mom? Let your son grow up and actually become a functioning adult. This is a mom who plans on doing everything for her child. My kids do not “need” me. That is the goal of parenthood.” It probably meant nothing to you—just a few sentences typed into the comment box. I imagine […]
I have landed in a strange world. The people here are very odd. They won’t stop looking in my eyes when they talk to me. They connect their gaze with mine and hold it until I look away. It’s creepy. They touch my arm and ask me many questions. Jack! Buddy! Are you playing basketball this year? I […]
Every time we go to the movies, my son Jack reminds me to remember the credits. He says, “For Mom. Remember the credits.” It’s his way of reminding me he likes to stay for the end. He likes to see the name scroll up the screen—Costume Director, Music Composer, Supporting Cast. From the moment Jack […]
My son Jack was diagnosed with autism in 2005. I didn’t know a single person with autism. I didn’t know anyone who was shuttling their toddlers to speech therapy or sitting through evaluations in small, windowless rooms. Sensory processing disorder was a phrase you might find in a medical textbook, not on a questionnaire for […]
Mama, what is a family? A family? Well, my child, a family is at once the easiest and the hardest thing to build. Think of it as a garden. Maybe you expected rows and rows of neat tulips, standing straight and tall in their church pews. You pictured them eating organic apples and placing the […]
Dear Me, I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking he’s going to outgrow this. He’s going to outgrow the way he stares blankly at the wall when you call his name. He’s going to outgrow the way he traces the grout line between tiles for hours. He’s going to outgrow the screaming fits […]