I am married to a man named Joe. We have four boys and one girl. Our second Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. What can I tell you about my husband? He doesn’t have a middle name. He loves calamari, Wordle, board games of any kind, the Buffalo Bills, and watching thunderstorms from the […]
Don’t mind me. I’m just a mom, sitting in a minivan, crying behind my sunglasses. I have a son about your age. His name is Jack. He has autism. A few days ago we dropped him off at a college program. This program is geared for kids like Jack, who need extra support for daily […]
“If this doesn’t work out, you’ll just find another program!” “Actually,” I said, “There really aren’t any other programs for him.” “Of course there are!” “No,” I told her, “There aren’t.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll find something.” Standing next to this lovely woman with a small plate in my hand, I felt something wash over […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. I am all the time trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging […]
My oldest son. My firstborn child. The first in our family. I am counting on you. Of course I am. How could it be any other way? It isn’t fair. I know. I used to think life was fair. Then autism came on the scene in the shape of a 9-pound, 3-ounce baby boy named […]
To my son with autism, For the last eighteen years, I’ve made your bed. In the beginning, I smoothed striped crib sheets around a tiny mattress. Then there was the Thomas the Train quilt, followed by a pillowcase printed with license plates. Now, a blue and red plaid comforter. I make your bed instead of […]
The teenage boy stood from his seat and climbed the steps to the stage. Dressed in khaki pants and a plaid shirt, he shook hands easily—with confidence. He stood tall. Watching him, my heart swelled with pride for who he is, and who he may become. At the exact same moment, my mind flashed to […]
Dear Jack, For as long as I can remember, I wanted a crystal ball to see into your future. Once you walked, I wanted you to run. When you said your first word, I wished for a sentence. When you were in second grade, I worried about fourth grade. And today, I watched you wear […]
Is he high functioning? People often ask me this. It usually comes on the heels of my original offering—the offering of my son’s autism diagnosis, all baby bird in my upturned palm. I understand the question. I understand the desire to find footing upon the slippery bell curve. I understand because I do it all […]
I once read that you prefer the season into which you were born, and the Virgo in me dutifully complies to the searing orange and red of autumn. Yet this year, spring has taken me by surprise. I stand at our bedroom window each morning, marveling at how vibrant green leaves changed the landscape overnight. […]