1. Kelbungy
    July 4, 2022 @ 10:22 am

    This was so heartfelt. I dread those moments in a crowded room too, though for now I’ve been spared. But as my autism son grows older, and me right along with him, I too am well aware I shall face similar awkward conversation moments. What will I say? Or can I run away? I guess I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Meantime, I hope to always return to this post. To remember that I’m not alone. Thanks Carrie!


  2. Mary Bishop
    July 4, 2022 @ 2:47 pm

    Thank you for this post that helps me be more understanding of a person and his family who live autism. Hopefully, it will help me and others to realize how good intentioned words can invalidate another’s pain. It would be much better to listen and say something that shows compassion. I admire Jack’s courage and though I don’t know him or you personally, you have helped me to see him, you and your family with deep admiration and loving compassion.


  3. manuela rohr
    July 4, 2022 @ 4:14 pm

    Thank you! You shared my story, only my hero is my daughter, 31 years old. No matter how often I have been crushed by similar conversations, no matter how many smart words I prepared to speak “next time”… I’m always left empty, the elephant in the room.


  4. Susie
    July 5, 2022 @ 5:13 pm

    So much is not as it seems. This journey definitely teaches you that what is good sometimes has to be fought for, hard. It is demanding. I am wrung out today and feeling kind of like I’m circling the drain, thank you for your wise words. The love is what drive the hope in spite of the fear and it will help Jack beyond measure.


  5. juliep
    July 5, 2022 @ 6:12 pm

    “It is the story our radical grace, our reckless mercy, our tender, tender resilience.”


  6. Norman
    July 8, 2022 @ 7:49 am

    Dear Carrie,

    I’ve been following you and your family’s story for many years, and I’ve always been impressed with how loving, caring, and patient you are. Your endless devotion to your family, and especially your neurodiverse child, should be commended.

    It took a lot of courage for me to reach out and comment on your well-written family chronicle for the first time. I am a neurodiverse, hypersensitive, intellectually limited, and socially dysfunctional individual in his early forties. I live in a major American city with my elderly, retired parents and work part-time as an office assistant (from home since the pandemic began).

    My relationship with the rest of my family is strained, but stable, because of all my differences and the ways I’ve fallen short of their standards throughout my life. I wasn’t diagnosed with a neurological disability/disorder/condition/whatever-you-want-to-call-it until I was in my mid-twenties, long after such an important piece of knowledge would have helped me survive in school. At least my diagnosis helped my family realize that my difficulties growing up were legitimate, and not just misbehavior or deliberate underachievement. Better late than never, I suppose.

    I notice you’ve mentioned occasionally that your son Jack has a strong interest in music and dreams of becoming a record producer someday. I’m curious about his favorite artists, genres, and influences, since I’m a lifelong amateur musician myself. How much does Jack know about mashups? These are songs which combine elements of two or more pre-recorded songs. There are countless examples of mashups on the Internet.

    Jack seems quite knowledgeable about music, so he could probably create some memorable mashups with enough practice and build his self-esteem in the process. There are some audio editing programs and websites which would be perfect for mashup production, and are free and (fairly) easy to use. Best of all, you don’t need to be a music theory expert! If you’d like, I could tell you (and Jack) more about this subject at a later date.

    It’s been a pleasure reading your posts through the years. Best wishes to you and your family.


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