Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son has autism. His name is Jack. People ask me what I find the hardest when it comes to raising a child with autism. Is it the repetitive behavior—the way he asks the same question 17,395 times, even when he already knows the answer? […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have a son with autism. He is fifteen. His name is Jack. When you have a child with autism, your life is a delicate tightrope. Every day, you stand upon the thin wire, one foot balanced in front of the other, hoping for the smallest step forward. And on […]
Every morning, I make your bed. I pull the sheets up tight, and I arrange the red and blue striped comforter on top. I fold your weighted blanket and tuck it into the bottom of the mattress. It’s corduroy, your weighted blanket. You don’t like sleeping with it because it’s hot, but it’s a great […]
For the brand-new dad with a tiny, squirming bundle, and a wife who seems to have lost her ever-loving mind. The very sight of you sparks rage in her eyes. You change the diapers wrong. You fold the burp cloths wrong. You stroll the stroller wrong. Breathe, tender father. She will […]
One night, I kissed you. And you kissed me. Then we got married. We had five kids. We bought a minivan. We got a dog. We discovered autism. Or autism discovered us. Either way. Neither way. Raising children is important. It is fast, and fiery, and special, and ordinary, and fun sometimes and not-so-fun other […]
Sometimes I wish everyone had the opportunity to raise a child like my son, Jack. Jack is fifteen. He is nearly six-foot, two inches tall. He wears a size thirteen shoe. Blue Nikes, in case you were wondering. He picks his cuticles until they bleed. He goes to a special school. He takes medicine every […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. He is fifteen years old. In my mind, I picture autism to be a huge tapestry with a lot of bright, vibrant colors. Actually, I don’t picture the front of the tapestry, but the back of […]
Motherhood is a curious thing. For many of us, it starts with tiny pink ears shaped like seashells. Soft newborn sighs, mingled with raging postpartum hormones. Before you know it, a few uncertain steps on wobbly legs, the first word, a game of patty-cake. From there, it follows a fairly predictable path: preschool, kindergarten, untied shoelaces, […]
Autism is a blue-pen diagnosis scrawled across white paper. Low executive functioning. Poor social skills. Obsessive-compulsive behavior. Severe anxiety. Autism is unpredictable. It is unusual, and unexpected. It is rigidity, tenacity, and ability, all rolled into one complicated mind. It is a father’s determination. This father, see, he hurts. Sure, […]
Five days ago, you left for a trip halfway around the world. It’s been five days since I’ve seen your face. Five days since I’ve insisted you comb your hair before you left for the bus. I almost knocked on your door this morning to remind you to get up for school. In the grocery […]