I turn over and squint at the clock. It’s 6:14 in the morning. I was in the middle of a dream, something about the beach and waves crashing. I hear the shower turn on down the hall, and the familiar tone of a voice. I can’t make out the words. By 6:31, he is done […]
Right away, I want you to know something about me. I want you to know I was supposed to have normal kids who did normal things and raise a normal family and have normal, happy times. I have none of that. Well, I have some of that, but not nearly as much as I imagined. […]
You and I, we are about to begin a short journey together. A journey where you read what I’ve typed and I sit back on my heels, all folded hands and closed eyes, and hope you find a piece of yourself inside my words. Let’s start with the details, shall we? My name is Carrie. […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. We’ve never met. I know this because I have never met someone who has been shot with a gun. Important people on television talk about statistics and data and events. I want to know other stuff. When was your first kiss? Were you an early […]
There are many doctors who tell us autism is a diagnosis—an incurable disorder with many challenges. They write big long articles about executive functioning and perseverative behavior and self-stimulation. They lecture about the way it can change a family, and destroy a marriage. They are right about this. At the same time, I know a […]
Have you ever met my son Jack? The first thing people usually notice is his height. He stands over six feet tall. He wears glasses. He chews his fingernails a lot. He jumps around, as if he’s dancing to music only he can hear. The truth is, you don’t simply meet my son. You experience him. […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son has autism. His name is Jack. People ask me what I find the hardest when it comes to raising a child with autism. Is it the repetitive behavior—the way he asks the same question 17,395 times, even when he already knows the answer? […]
Do you love him more? Come here, buddy. Sit beside me, and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a mama who had five ducklings. The ducklings were born all in a row—one right after the other. Boy. Boy. Boy. Girl. Boy. This mama, she assumed her ducklings would be […]
Let me tell you a story about a boy. This boy, he is like no other boy. Oh, he wants to be! He wants to be like you and me and everyone else. But he is not. Sometimes this makes him sad. Other times he doesn’t seem to care. It’s hard to know, really. Some […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have a son with autism. He is fifteen. His name is Jack. When you have a child with autism, your life is a delicate tightrope. Every day, you stand upon the thin wire, one foot balanced in front of the other, hoping for the smallest step forward. And on […]
