I have said it before, and I will say it again. I cannot teach my son to whisper. Hi. My name is Carrie. I am married to a man named Joe and we have five kids and they are big and loud and sweet and funny. I have been cooking for seven people during the […]
[May 9th, 2020] Dear Jack, Sixteen years ago today, you exploded into this world—nine pounds, three ounces of squirming pinkness. Daddy cried, to meet his new son. Today, you are over six feet tall. Your shoes look like canoes. You aren’t sleeping. I hear you moving around the house all night long—into the bathroom and […]
Motherhood is the best thing that will ever happen to you. The days are long, but the years are short. Soak up every moment. Oh, you work? Who takes care of your kids while you’re gone? Oh, you stay home? What do you do all day? Are you having trouble losing the weight? You should […]
Be a normal kid. Have fun. Act silly. Blow bubbles in the summer breeze and chase waves in the ocean and jump into big piles of autumn leaves. Make friends. Go to birthday parties and sleepovers and on camping trips. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son is diagnosed with autism. His name is Jack. He is fifteen years old. As an autism mama, I have always told myself I will never give up on my son. Oh, I would have liked to, especially during that rough gastrointestinal phase […]
Tell me everything you know about autism, and in exchange I’ll tell you all I know about a boy. Tell me how people with autism can’t experience empathy. Tell me how they hate wearing clothes with tags. Tell me about the sensory processing, and the anxiety, and the meltdowns. And I will tell you about […]
I have a son named Jack. He is fifteen years old. He is over six feet, two inches tall, which is not all that tall. But when you see him, there is something about his size that takes your breath away. I can’t explain it. He has autism. He was born with it. He is […]
Jack-a-boo. Jack-attack. Jack. My son. Not a day goes by when I don’t wonder who you are. Or who you might have been. I wonder why you, out of all my children, were given autism’s complicated genetic twist. Not a day goes by when I don’t try to think of ways to explain you to […]
You and I, we are about to begin a short journey together. A journey where you read what I’ve typed and I sit back on my heels, all folded hands and closed eyes, and hope you find a piece of yourself inside my words. Let’s start with the details, shall we? My name is Carrie. […]
Hi. My name is Carrie. We’ve never met. I know this because I have never met someone who has been shot with a gun. Important people on television talk about statistics and data and events. I want to know other stuff. When was your first kiss? Were you an early […]