Hey Mom, what did you do today? My oldest son. Your voice across the miles. What did I do? Well, I did nothing. And I did everything. I noticed a broken window blind and scheduled an appointment for the eye doctor. I passed by your room and straightened the quilt on your bed, readying it for […]
I have the son who couldn’t sit still for circle time. I have the son who whirled around the doctor’s office, all moving limbs and screeching sound. I have the son with autism. I have the son who shrieked and clawed his way through puberty. I have the son who bit the teacher. He left […]
I know, it’s confusing. It’s confusing to me, too. You hardly knew her. We rarely talked about her. My mother. I’m erratic lately. For as long as I can remember, I’ve tried not to be erratic. Yet since she passed away, I’ve wept without notice. Every afternoon around 3:00, a deep fatigue overwhelms me. I try […]
It’s a chilly afternoon in November. The mall is quiet. A few people starting their holiday shopping. Two women walk into a store. It’s the kind that sells decorations for the home. Animals carved from wood, tapestries woven from silky strands. Although they don’t look alike, you can tell they are related. Mother, daughter. The […]
I read an article about a teenage boy who took a girl with Down Syndrome to the prom. The piece talked about how amazing he was—how selfless and kind. It touched a nerve in me. At first, I couldn’t quite figure out why. I mean, what this boy did was very nice. But it didn’t […]
I had the son who bit the teacher. I had the son who couldn’t wait in line at the zoo, or sit through a meal in a restaurant, or play tag during recess. I had the son who slept fitfully and woke at dawn. I had the son people stared at in the grocery store. I […]
Inside every photo is a story. You may not see it right away. At first you might observe the shimmering water and the way it meets the shoreline. You admire the color of the setting sun. From there, you notice the boy. A young man, really. He looks relaxed. Ever since my son Jack was […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging makes my skin feel like fire? […]
My son Jack has autism. He is eighteen. He was diagnosed when he was a little over a year. We were in a small room. The doctor was soft-spoken. Gentle. He wore a tie. Every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of that room in my mind’s eye. The brown carpet. The silver […]
Dear Jack You probably don’t remember this, but when you were a little boy, I had a necklace I wore every day. It had the word believe spelled in silver script. Whenever you started to unravel in the way only a toddler with autism can unravel, I would hold the necklace up for you to see. […]