I had the son who bit the teacher. I had the son who couldn’t wait in line at the zoo, or sit through a meal in a restaurant, or play tag during recess. I had the son who slept fitfully and woke at dawn. I had the son people stared at in the grocery store. I […]
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cariello. Your son doesn’t seem to be a good fit for our summer program.” Spring always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. Just as the landscape comes to life in all its green glory, every obligation imaginable calls our name. Yet hiding right behind every fresh new blossom is […]
I am not a person, place, or thing. You can’t touch me, or see me, or smell me. I am considered a human condition—a collection of symptoms. The twitching finger and the flapping hand. The silent toddler with downcast eyes and a tippy-toe walk. I am a diagnosis. A disorder. A box you check on […]
Tender father, I watched you this weekend. I watched you scan every crosswalk for speeding cars. I watched you eye the people around us, suspicious and wary. I watched you look at our son, your expression a powerful combination of pride and concern. All you ever wanted to do was protect him. If you ask […]
“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask all the passengers to evacuate the aircraft. We have a security issue.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. As I bent forward to get my bag, I heard shouting. A man ran up through the aisle as though he’d been shot from a cannon. […]
My son, I’m sorry. All I ever wanted was to protect you. And I failed. I imagined many things when you left for your college program. Homesickness. Trouble making friends. Perhaps a failing grade or two. I never imagined you would connect with someone online, meet them in person, and get in their car. I […]
Inside every photo is a story. You may not see it right away. At first you might observe the shimmering water and the way it meets the shoreline. You admire the color of the setting sun. From there, you notice the boy. A young man, really. He looks relaxed. Ever since my son Jack was […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging makes my skin feel like fire? […]
Last night our son Jack called to say his debit card was declined. We sat on opposite ends of the couch, trading the phone back and forth, trying to calm him down. He was trying to order food from Uber Eats. French fries and a frozen Pepsi. We checked the account. There was money in […]
Autism diagnosis day always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. No one is. Even those more prepared—those of us who had the words circling the back of our minds like wispy smoke at a campfire—well, our knees still buckle at the formal announcement. How could they not? Autism. The next day we […]