Amongst the five pear trees, a single bird stirs. From where I sit on the front porch, I feel his eyes upon me. Perhaps I am imagining it. Inside the house, a notebook sits on the counter. It’s opened to a blank page. For the last four weeks, you’ve been at a summer program. Now, […]
I know, it’s confusing. It’s confusing to me, too. You hardly knew her. We rarely talked about her. My mother. I’m erratic lately. For as long as I can remember, I’ve tried not to be erratic. Yet since she passed away, I’ve wept without notice. Every afternoon around 3:00, a deep fatigue overwhelms me. I try […]
It’s a chilly afternoon in November. The mall is quiet. A few people starting their holiday shopping. Two women walk into a store. It’s the kind that sells decorations for the home. Animals carved from wood, tapestries woven from silky strands. Although they don’t look alike, you can tell they are related. Mother, daughter. The […]
I wake before the sun. I sit up in bed. I notice the half-light and lay back on the pillow. My husband Joe shifts beside me and sighs in his sleep. I wonder what he’s thinking, if he’s dreaming. I look over at him. His face is relaxed. His goatee is more silver than dark. […]
The room is quiet now. The lights are low. You are asleep, a white blanket pulled up close, your hands limp at your sides. A few hours earlier, the doctor ticked off all the betrayals of your body while a machine pumped air through your lungs. Advanced COPD. Pulmonary embolism. Heart failure. Now, the air […]
Our son Jack just finished his first year in a college program. Today you will help him pack up and move home. You opted to do this on your own. I sit at my desk with a cup of coffee. I think of you alone in the car, driving on the flat highway flanked by […]
“Tell me about his diet. Does he eat a wide range of foods?” I hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I reach for a gallon of milk. “Oh, yes, he eats almost everything!” Another intake call. That’s what I find myself on in the middle of the grocery store. The young […]
I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking he’s going to outgrow this. He’s going to outgrow the way he stares blankly at the wall when you call his name. He’s going to outgrow the way he traces the grout line between tiles for hours. He’s going to outgrow the screaming fits and the way he […]
Marriage is hard. Add a few kids, a mortgage, soccer practice, daycare, potty training, Driver’s Ed, and things can get a little dicey. Add in autism and all bets are off, as they say. Autism has a way of amplifying things. It’s kind of like being in a disco, where the lights are flashing and […]
I read an article about a teenage boy who took a girl with Down Syndrome to the prom. The piece talked about how amazing he was—how selfless and kind. It touched a nerve in me. At first, I couldn’t quite figure out why. I mean, what this boy did was very nice. But it didn’t […]