I. Mother’s Day. A balmy green morning. He arrives, all nine pounds, three ounces. Instantly, I fall in love with his pink newborn ears, his tiny fingernails. My life is forever changed, in ways I cannot begin to comprehend. II. The crying doesn’t stop. He is sick all the time. A deep, barking cough. Ear […]
I know you were annoyed. It was a last-minute trip. He was home from his college program for Thanksgiving. He wanted to bake cookies. I forgot to warn him that the store would be busy. I couldn’t get to him in time. He cut ahead of you in line. Then he dropped a carton of […]
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Late afternoon sunlight drifts across my desk. The trees outside are bare, their dusty leaves collecting on the ground. I read the text from my brother. Then I read it again. My childhood home. Sold. A family with two little girls. It’s been four months since my mother passed away. It seems impossibly long and […]
Hey Mom, what did you do today? My oldest son. Your voice across the miles. What did I do? Well, I did nothing. And I did everything. I noticed a broken window blind and scheduled an appointment for the eye doctor. I passed by your room and straightened the quilt on your bed, readying it for […]
Outside the window, leaves drift lazily through raindrops. On the floor below me, the dog is asleep in his bed. The dog you didn’t want. The dog you adore. All five kids are firmly established in their Friday afternoon whirlwind. Crew practice, a job washing dishes, watching the varsity football game. College. I’m sick. Not […]
We sit upright on the couch, listening to the news. Bullets raining hellfire on a sleepy town in Maine. A bowling alley, of all places. I take stock of my children. This what you do when tragedy strikes, no matter how near or far. College, basketball practice, upstairs doing homework. Down for his after-dinner snack, […]
What did you think when he walked in for his appointment? Maybe you saw a tall boy with glasses and thought nothing about it at all. Then he rubbed his hands together fast, like he’s warming up at a campfire. Or he hopped from one foot to the other, trying to regulate his nervous system. And you […]
The afternoon sun shines brightly overhead. A young mother pushes a stroller down the long, winding street. Leaves crunch under her feet as the trees begin their colorful descent toward winter. To her right is a little boy. He is perhaps four. He wears a red jacket against the October chill. He clutches a sheaf […]
This morning, I sit at my desk as autumn’s light dances across the room. I think of my oldest son, far away in Philadelphia. The leader of our family. I think of Jack, who is working hard to make a life for himself. Who is stretching beyond the parenthesis autism imposes. My middle son, Charlie. […]