My son. Autism connected us together in the complicated ways. For eighteen years, we were a “we.” I spoke when you couldn’t find the words. My regulation was the barometer for your own. I fought. I sat in stuffy conference rooms and made a case for inclusion and behavior therapy. I wrote emails. I made phone […]
Dear Jack You probably don’t remember this, but when you were a little boy, I had a necklace I wore every day. It had the word believe spelled in silver script. Whenever you started to unravel in the way only a toddler with autism can unravel, I would hold the necklace up for you to see. […]
What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try […]
My son Jack. My husband Joe. I took this picture of them over the weekend. If I viewed it through a stranger’s eyes, I might believe it is nothing more than an 18-year old boy sitting next to his father. Both are relaxed. Happy. Yet there is so much this picture doesn’t say. Jack never walked. […]
Editor’s note: I wrote this post based on some conversations with my son Jack. Hello. This is Jack. My mother said we are going to your house for a holiday party this year. I have autism. My autism means I like my schedule very, very much. I like to wrap myself in routine like a soft, cozy […]
I saw you today. I drove by just as you were standing on the hill taking pictures. The autumn leaves were brilliant confetti beneath your feet. You looked lovely. I have to be honest. Sometimes I look at new brides and think oh, sweet Jesus. It’s not that I’m cynical. I’ve just been around awhile. My […]
I remember it was warm that day. I remember I was hungry. We’d left in a hurry. The drive took over an hour—even longer to find parking in a nearby garage. We made it to the bridge with just a few minutes to spare. “Mom, are you sure?” My 16-year old Charlie shifted next to […]
Diagnosis day always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. No one is. Even those more prepared—those of us who had the word autism circling the back of our minds like wispy smoke at a campfire—well, our knees still buckle at the formal announcement. How could they not? Autism. The next day we […]
Your name is Jack. You have autism. There were times I tried to contain it, but containing autism is a little like trying to hold a tornado inside of a bucket. It doesn’t work. The bucket topples over and you are left with a lot of lightning and wind. You can’t hide autism. My son, […]
When it came to sending our son Jack to a college program, we weren’t exactly on the same page. We talked about it night after night. We argued. We took turns making our case for why we should send him, and why he wasn’t ready. In the end we decided to try. Drop off day […]