Marriage is hard. Add a few kids, a mortgage, soccer practice, daycare, potty training, Driver’s Ed, and things can get a little dicey. Add in autism and all bets are off, as they say. Autism has a way of amplifying things. It’s kind of like being in a disco, where the lights are flashing and […]
Just be normal. Have fun. Make friends. Laugh at other people’s jokes. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. Be like us. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging makes my skin feel like fire? […]
“What’s the big deal? He can come home and work for the summer,” she said breezily. The room was noisy. I was trying to balance a plate in my hand. Bon Jovi played weakly over the speakers. I’d just confided in this woman—a stranger, really—that my son Jack is struggling in his college program. He […]
“What’s your secret to staying married?” she asked as she handed my husband Joe the receipt. He and I exchanged tentative glances. The previous night’s argument hung over us like a cloud. The first time I ever spoke to him, he was standing in line to return a book. The sky was a crystal blue. […]
Editor’s note: I wrote this post based on some conversations with my son Jack. Hello. This is Jack. My mother said we are going to your house for a holiday party this year. I have autism. My autism means I like my schedule very, very much. I like to wrap myself in routine like a soft, cozy […]
Diagnosis day always brings us up short. We’re not made for it. No one is. Even those more prepared—those of us who had the word autism circling the back of our minds like wispy smoke at a campfire—well, our knees still buckle at the formal announcement. How could they not? Autism. The next day we […]
What did you think when he walked into the room? Maybe he was talking about soda—the difference between Pepsi and Coke. Or street maps. He memorizes street maps. I know how he looked, this 6’5” tall boy with a laptop under his arm. He looked weird. He looked weird and out of control. He was […]
I had the son who bit the teacher. I had the son who couldn’t wait in line at the zoo, or sit through a meal in a restaurant, or play tag at recess. I had the son who slept fitfully and woke at dawn. I had the son people stared at in the grocery store. […]
In our house, we chose the dinner table. It wasn’t always easy. With five kids and autism, there was a fair amount of chaos and noise. Arguments over spilled milk, forks dug into the wooden table, sibling rivalry, arguments about peas. When our son Jack was little he got up and circled the table nine […]
The first time I went to an IEP meeting was in 2006. My son Jack had just been diagnosed with autism. He was barely two years old. I sat in a folding chair. I remember feeling nervous. I wasn’t sure where to put my hands. The room was stuffy. We flipped through the reports. We […]