Five days ago, you left for a trip halfway around the world. It’s been five days since I’ve seen your face. Five days since I’ve insisted you comb your hair before you left for the bus. I almost knocked on your door this morning to remind you to get up for school. In the grocery […]
It’s April now. Here in New Hampshire, we are treated to the occasional shirt-sleeve day, when the sun warms your arms and you can cast your jacket aside. April is Autism Awareness Month. My son has autism. His name is Jack. He is almost fifteen. What can I tell you about autism that you don’t […]
My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son, Jack, has autism. My story is not a new story. It is neither original, nor untold. My story of autism is, quite simply, an account of a bewildered mother trying to enjoy the moment in front of her, with one eye constantly trained on […]
Jack, you have something called high-functioning autism. This is very, very good. At thirteen, you talk. You can bathe yourself, and pick out your own clothes, and pack your lunch for school. You can go to a restaurant, and order from the menu, and for the most part—if it’s been a calm day and the […]
Can I ask you something? What does autism mean to you? For some, it means a life interrupted—a family landscape forever altered by the diagnosis. It is a universal language of flapping hands, and dancing fingers, and a lot of race cars lined up in a row. It’s meetings at school and locks on the […]
Today you told me you hated me. I know you were very angry and frustrated and you probably didn’t mean it but still, it stung. I know you were shocked when I told you about your new school schedule, and how it’s been extended to include August as well as July. I know how much you […]
You may not know this, but a couple of months ago I un-friended you on Facebook. I mean, we weren’t exactly friends in the regular sense. We never met for coffee or talked on the phone or texted each other. We don’t even live in the same state, and I haven’t seen you in over […]
I never wanted to be The Person. You know, The Person—the one in a marriage who handles all the kid stuff, like changing the diapers and checking the homework folder and buying shoes. (The Person is also known as the Default Parent, The Micromanager, or the Helicopter Mom.) I did pretty well for the first […]
The other day, when we were on our way to the grocery store, you asked me a question. Whenever you ask a question, it doesn’t sound like a question. It sounds like an announcement because you don’t lilt your voice at the end or change your tone at all. How do. Grown-ups have it. The […]
We moved to New Hampshire almost nine years ago, and I can’t say I was very excited about it. I mean, I don’t ski. I don’t hike, and I try to get out of any and all camping trips. In fact, my favorite activities are shopping and eating, and our little town is notoriously short […]