Autism: Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?

He is always screaming.

But sometimes he’s quiet.

I can’t find a way to soothe him.

He squirms when I hold him.

He cries all the time. 

He’s not talking. 

He has no words.

He won’t look at me. 

I don’t know what he wants. 

All day long he cries and I don’t know what he wants I can’t help him.

The doctor said it’s autism.

He has autism.

My son has autism.

This is Jack. He has autism.

He said Mama! He said it just the other day. He knows me. He knows who I am.

He’s probably going to outgrow this, don’t you think?

Maybe it was all a phase.

Something is wrong. He is chanting about painting babies blue. He keeps asking what time it is. He’s afraid of the wind chill factor.

He is here but not here.

What does comorbidity even mean?

I never knew anxiety goes along with autism. 

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?

Medication. It was our only choice.

I don’t think essential oils are the answer here.

Gluten doesn’t seem to bother him.

I’m sorry he touched your hair.

I’m sorry he said your house was messy.

I’m sorry he asked if you’re pregnant. 

We’re working on it. 

If he smears soap on the walls one more time, I’m going to light my eyelashes on fire.

Please don’t call him that.

Please don’t stare at him.

His name is Jack. He has autism.

Sometimes I get so angry with people who have perfect lives but I don’t know how talk about it. 

Sixth grade has been a mess.

Puberty is awful.

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?

He bit the teacher.

He threw books.

He’s been suspended.

He can’t go back to school. 

He’s talking about knives.

He’s talking about death. 

We have to hide sharp objects.

I am lost.

We are lost. 

I don’t know how to help him.

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?

We had to change his medication. It seems to be working.

He’s doing well in his new school, thank you for asking! Seventh grade is off to a good start.

He called the teacher a leprechaun. 

If he doesn’t stop swearing I’m going to light my eyelashes on fire.

He might actually graduate. He could get his diploma.

He wants to go to college.

We have to find something.

You don’t understand. There are so few programs for people with autism. There are so few spots.

Where will he go?

He’s never going to outgrow this. 

Autism is forever. 

I can’t do this forever.

I will do this forever.

He got in!

He got in.

How can we let him go?

What if someone hurts him?

Who will refill his prescriptions?

We have to let him go. He deserves the chance.

We did the work.

Autism is not who he is, it’s what he has.

Why didn’t anyone tell me?