3 Comments

  1. Kathy Wiant
    July 19, 2021 @ 8:54 am

    Carrie, it always seems miraculous to me that you express so perfectly the emotional roller coaster of where I am and where I’ve been. The inconceivable mental load in my brain. We have a 20 year old named Nick with ASD who is a few years ahead of your Jack (and 2 daughters 27 and 25). I remember so clearly the first summer Nick went away to a summer camp for kids with special needs. The intense anxiety, the fear, the phone calls, the acting out, the hole we felt from his absence, not sure who suffered more. And then we did it again the next summer and the next and the next. Many things got worse, before they got better. And now he’s “transitioning” at a residential school and independent living center for adults with Autism and we keep asking ourselves are we really here? How did he make it this far? How did we? Last week he was reprimanded for texting his school friends too much…friends? Friends! Sometimes it is impossible to see where the steps will lead and yet we just keep taking the steps. Kathy

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  2. Suz
    July 19, 2021 @ 9:00 am

    Pre children and autism I used to think motherhood was something you conquer and it doesn’t conquer you, ha ha. I think the unglamorous truth is motherhood sometimes does destroy the old you in many ways, and unconditional love is about never giving up on a person no matter what, one foot after another. I feel small, stupid and helpless too. One small child has shown me all my shortcomings in all their ugly glory. However I also know the relentless, menial chores and trying matter more than we know and are never in vain…I hope Jack enjoys his time away and has a great summer.

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  3. Teri
    July 19, 2021 @ 10:44 am

    Well, we usually get 8 eggs a day from our chickens. I wish you were my neighbor so I could share them with you and Jack.
    I love ice cream 🍦 too. And I don’t like to run out, so it would be nice to have Jack around to remind me.

    I’ve also been raising a son with autism. His name is Andrew. My husband wrote a book about our story. It’s called “Andrewtism”, by Ken Smyth.

    I wish he would write another book about the trials and unending questions we still have about our son. He is now 28. He doesn’t work. He lives in a cottage on my mom’s property, cause I can’t handle him here. Mostly, these men need to live on their own. Not in mommy’s house. So far, he can afford it. I take him food shopping. He loves to cook.
    I recently learned about a book called “Living With Intensity” from strangers on Club House, the latest app.
    The people in the room encouraged me to learn more about autism. But I’m tired.
    I downloaded the book on Audible so i can listen while I’m gardening or cooking. It is helping me understand that I have raised a gifted son. Two in reality, cause my eldest has ADHD and similar anxiety issues.
    All i can offer you, is hope. One woman on the Club House session, said she took 10 years to graduate college and at 30, she finally has a job and career. She said I reminded her of the way her mother was with her and it was painful. She knew her mom loved her, but obviously there was resentment there.
    Hey. I’m doing the best I can. I learned a new phrase that day. “Demand Avoidance “. It’s when you want your autistic son to do something ( in our case, Andrew needs to apply for jobs), and they dig their heels in and won’t do it.
    It’s so interesting. Life is interesting.
    Take each day as it comes, and take care of you.
    I’ve never been given a response from you Carrie, but I assume you read these.

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