2 Comments

  1. Whit
    June 29, 2020 @ 3:20 pm

    You are a great mother, you are meant to worry and push your children. I cannot speak for Jack, but I do not think he is lonely. You have built a wonderful family around him. At the end of the day family trumps friends. Sometimes our family becomes our friends. I think Jack Is content… if so That is wonderful.

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  2. terismyth
    June 30, 2020 @ 3:12 pm

    Wow. Very compelling. I love your writing. I don’t see how you do it with five kids. I only have two.
    I grew up in a family of six. There were four of us kids. Then my dad left. There was five of us. We were super close. My mother went to work from 3PM until Midnight. We rarely saw her. I was 14. We had many chores. My siblings and I would sing, dance, play and have the best time together with no parents at home. We thrived.

    Jack probably loves routine. He has a schedule and rules and will have a different way of thinking than your other kids. I appreciate what my son Andrew has brought to our family. Andrew is 26 now. I will reflect on how my husband and I raised him to give you a perspective.

    We kept him busy. I drove him to music lessons, church choir practice, taekwondo, boy scouts (although my husband became very involved and took him much of the time), track competitions, swim team events, piano lessons and tutor appointments. He wanted to spend time alone in his room to play video games. He didn’t ask questions. He followed the rules. He never lied. He never got in trouble.
    In grammar school, he had 3 friends. They were similar to him probably also diagnosed with Autism or Aspergers. We had play dates to help him learn how to socialize. He was my project. My husband wrote a book called “Andrewtism” to help him cope.

    The only arguments my husband and I had involved decisions about Andrew. Our older son Curtis was also a handful having ADHD, but he was out of the house in college by then since they are 8 years apart.

    In High School, Andrew met up with Mormon friends, choir friends, drama friends and had a lovely time. He needed help with homework especially writing and math which we helped him through. His Eagle Project was challenging and my husband mentored him as well as many other boys.

    In college, Andrew joined the choir and got a scholarship. He had many friends. He got through college eventually. Took him 6 years and a lot of guidance from us and his mentor and professors. He began to lie which was hard. He would fall apart and sleep through his finals and fail a class. It was difficult. He had to move back home. That was hard for him and us.

    Jack will be okay.

    Take it one day at a time.
    These days go by fast. Pretty soon you will be an empty nester. You will. Then you will miss them. Enjoy the moment Mamma.

    Teri

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