11 Comments

  1. Craig Black
    July 8, 2019 @ 12:32 pm

    Hi, Carrie.
    My name is Craig. My wife and I have a son named Noah. He is 14 and he’s on the autism spectrum.
    I’ve been reading your blog for many years and two things have become very clear. First, Jack sounds very similar to Noah. Second, you, your husband, and Jack’s family as well as my wife and I and Noah’s family are doing everything to ensure the best possible future for both boys.
    Your blog is a constant source of inspiration and comfort for many people—including me. So thank you for everything you do, everything you say, and everything you write.
    All the best,
    Craig
    PS: Today’s post talks about Jack not having a “moment” yet. Well, that picture of him confidently gliding across the water on his paddle board looks like quite a moment to me.

    Reply

  2. Janelle Olivarez
    July 8, 2019 @ 2:28 pm

    I have a boy too. I once thought he would always have to live with me and spend his life playing video games in the dark. He has allergies. He hates the outdoors. We can’t have a cat. We gave up on taking him camping, although he did take a short hike with his dad on Father’s Day.

    There is a lot I could tell you. He is really good at math and computers. He wants to live in the matrix. He had to take his GED because he couldn’t tolerate high school, but then he took his SATs and got into college. For years he only took classes he liked and then he wanted to graduate, so he learned to take classes from strange teachers and after 8 years he did graduate!

    He lives with his sister to be closer to his college. She and her husband have taken over alot of what I used to do for him and they teach him how to be independent. It took two years, but this month he got a job! A job he is excited about. A job that will take him 3 hours away and require him to live by himself. He is ready. He is scared, but he is determined.

    He has a little apartment we are going to help him move into. It is in the same building as a Safeway store. It is a block away from his new job and in a dense urban area with lots of restaurants for him to eat at. He says he’s going to get a vacuum cleaner. I hope it’s a quiet one.

    Ten years ago this was just an impossible dream. You never know. He’s so bright, I thought he should pick something other than video games to make a career out of, but he did what he wanted to do anyway and now he is going to make more money than me.

    I love that Jack likes to bake. That can be a career. He has skills. He has passions. He has support. He will grow and change and mature. Maybe in different ways than you expect, but he will be a man. Some people say ASD sets you back about 10 years. It’s a LOT to deal with. My son is 28. He’s starting his first job next week!

    Reply

    • Carrie Cariello
      July 8, 2019 @ 4:04 pm

      Thank you, Janelle.

      Reply

    • GP
      July 11, 2019 @ 11:07 pm

      Thank you, Janelle, for taking the time to share your beautiful story. My daughter is 15 now, and she has come such a long way, and I can’t wait to see where she’ll be at 28. I am so very happy for your son and you. It reminds me to always presume competence and to be patient so that our children’s strengths will have a chance to mature on their very own timeline!

      Reply

      • Janelle Olivarez
        July 13, 2019 @ 2:44 am

        I love that “presume competence”. We found a mentor who taught us so much about that and he created the space for my son’s skills and personality to come alive and flourish.

        Reply

        • GP
          July 14, 2019 @ 12:19 am

          May I ask how you found a mentor for your son? I’d love to find one for my daughter.

          Reply

          • Janelle Olivarez
            July 15, 2019 @ 2:28 am

            We really lucked out. The autism specialist at the high school just happened to be taking some seminars from him at the time and recommended him and then the county stepped up and paid for it! So many planets aligned to make it happen. He happened to be such a good fit and intuitively knew what support we needed. It does take just the right person at the right time and I cannot even explain how it happened. His philosophy was that you cannot learn from someone you do not have a relationship with. So I recommend someone who likes to do fun things with your kid first of all, because that is the road to trust and you will not try new, scary things for someone you do not trust completely.

  3. Glenna Toyne
    July 8, 2019 @ 3:27 pm

    “He is my heart wandering about in your world”. ❤️

    Reply

  4. Janet Anderson
    July 9, 2019 @ 9:32 pm

    Reading your blog every week not only touches my heart, but it continues to give me hope for my grandson as well as for all God’s Children on the Autism Spectrum. Thank you.

    Reply

    • Maryanne
      July 13, 2019 @ 6:29 pm

      I feel the same way. After my grandson, now my grand daughter (his little sister) is having symptoms. But they are different and she has not been diagnosed. I too pray for all Gods asd children and parents and especially grandparents.

      Reply

  5. Claudia
    July 10, 2019 @ 10:18 am

    beautifully written, as usual.

    Reply

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