3 Comments

  1. Pauline Dehaas
    March 4, 2019 @ 10:03 am

    Carrie, we thank for for your writing. You are changing the world about how to understand those living with autism and those who love and care for them, one tiny step at a time! Strength for today and hope for tomorrow.

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  2. Merceda
    March 4, 2019 @ 10:17 am

    Carrie, I could never write as eloquently as you, though every week, I look forward to reading and saying yep, same here. My little one is regularly asking ‘what happens if an inmate uses a jackhammer to break out of jail?’. I’m not saying shut up, though. I’m such a rookie that as many times as she asks, I try to explain. Two minutes later, ‘what happens if an inmate uses a jackhammer to break out of jail?’ [sigh] You hit the nail on the head every week, and today is no different.

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  3. GP
    March 5, 2019 @ 11:04 am

    The comment about psychologists interpreting not wanting friends as a sign of fear of rejection made me think. I think this hypothesis is a non-autistic construct.
    I definitely recognize myself in that, and also that maybe sometimes we are projecting these feelings onto our children. I definitely don’t want rejection for my child and by extension for myself.

    However, is that how my child feels? And even if that were true, should I as a patent not try hard anyway to create opportunities for my child to find a place in a community that includes like-minded friends? They would have to be friends who can relate to my child’s experience, either because they are also on the spectrum or because they somehow get it due to perhaps having a neurodiverse sibling.

    I used to pride myself for creating these opportunities for my child. It was hard work, but it paid off, and my child found a BFF for several years before sadly, the BFF and her family moved away.

    Now, I realize I must have gotten complacent and also that this fear of rejection has returned. I am still keeping others (and opportunities for socializing) at an arm’s length. I realize that I need to explore more opportunities for my child to socialize because you never know what friendships they’ll form. And yes, that may involve rejection. But just maybe, there will be a very pleasant surprise for my child that my shy, introverted, fearful-of-rejection self never would have predicted.

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