9 Comments

  1. Molly.fliearman@me.com
    December 10, 2018 @ 10:01 am

    I’m laughing (“The Ousiders”), I’m nodding my head. Best Christmas letter ever! I’m very judgmental on those letters too😂😂. Never been a fan. Always wanted to read an honest one👍☺️. Love it, theater to it. Gorgeous children. Love “Roses” dress and necklace.

    Molly

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  2. Dawn
    December 10, 2018 @ 1:20 pm

    That picture! That’s awesome.
    And thank you for the real letter!!! I too have yelled over someone eating a piece of fruit.

    Reply

  3. GP
    December 10, 2018 @ 2:05 pm

    Those who are properly educated actually do not reject medication to control anxiety. The idea that medication is lazy parenting is an obsolete idea that reflects ignorance. Hence, I try not to worry about such comments. I may lecture somebody on the medical background of anxiety, or I may make a mental note not to socialize with them anymore.

    In any case, Mary Poppins and Disney movies are great interests to have. At our house animated movies with a positive message are a great source of joy. If it brings joy and does not hurt anybody, why not embrace it?

    Fandoms are actually a wonderful way to make friends. Especially among, but definitely not limited to, individuals on the spectrum, fandoms are a popular form of entertainment.

    Fandoms could lead to writing fan fiction, creating fan clubs, going to conventions (comic con is a famous one, but there are many more), and gives a person something to talk about at school/work.

    We are currently searching for a convention to attend (one that is related to my daughter’s fandoms). My husband and I want to take her because it would make her so happy and because she would encounter like-minded people and see that she is not alone.

    I think life gets better when parents realize that someone on the spectrum should not be inadvertently or advertently isolated from peers who are also on the spectrum. Why not get a fan club going and invite peers who are also on the spectrum?

    Also, there are teenagers on the spectrum who have blogs. It really helped my child gain insight and develop a sense of community when she started reading some of these blogs. I supervise her when she’s on the internet, and she has learned so much about herself, autism, and also internet safety.

    The Facebook page, Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance, is a great site to ask autistic individuals for advice. In fact, my daughter even wrote a comment to give input when a neurotypical parent asked for advice regarding the first day of school for their young child.

    Also, it may be hard to see sometimes, but our children are getting better each year. They are gradually learning to cope with an environment that is not made for someone who is not neurotypical. Just imagine your son at age 5 and 10 and compare that to now. There must be so many things that he has learned and that he can do now.

    The human brain is amazing. We all keep learning and the brain continues to develop. The idea that all neuroplasticity stops at age 7 or 8 is obsolete and has long been debunked.

    IMHO, one of the best ways to help our children develop coping skills and to help them grow is to get advice from autistic adults and to get our children to socialize with same-aged peers on the spectrum.

    Creating an after-school club or friendship circle centered around a common interest (Disney movies?) may be a great way to get started. It is easy for our kids to get socially isolated, even in a midst of loving siblings.

    Our children need their own peers and their interests should be embraced and supported by us just like one would support and celebrate the child who brings home sports trophies.

    We embrace my child’s love for her various fandoms. I took her to see her favorite movie four times while it was in the theaters. We surprise her with fandom-related books, figurines, and other merchandise. We script with her and sing songs from the movies, and it gives her joy.

    More importantly, it gives her hope for the future, which makes her laugh more, study more, and it actually helps alleviate anxiety. Last, but not least, it makes her realize that she is not broken. It is just that we neurotypicals lack the theory of mind to really understand and imagine how a person on the spectrum may perceive the world and how disabling our society actually can be.

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  4. Kats
    December 10, 2018 @ 4:24 pm

    What a beautiful picture and letter. Thank you for your ama omg blog

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  5. Patricia N Blais
    December 10, 2018 @ 7:18 pm

    Such a great picture of your children Carrie! i can’t believe that i can still recognize them , although I see Joey daily at BHS! Rosie is still a beauty. I enjoy your blog so much! Merry Christmas to you and the family

    Reply

  6. Jonel
    December 12, 2018 @ 4:34 am

    Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family! It really helps reading this, we are a family of 4 not 5 children but everything else from starwars to teenage boys eating to much left me not feeling so alone in my thinking of them growing up.

    Reply

  7. Janet (Grandmother)
    December 12, 2018 @ 6:52 pm

    Wishing you and your beautiful family a wonderful Christmas. They are growing up so fast. It is hard to believe how long I have been following your blog. God has been good to you in so many ways. The love you show everyday to your whole family is a special gift not everyone has. The ability to write from your heart and soul to all of us is the gift we receive from you. I pray you have a better 2019 and continue to do what you do to help all of us and especially Jack. God Bless.

    Reply

  8. lily cedar
    December 16, 2018 @ 4:32 pm

    I was told once that my daughter was disabled because I over mothered her. I’ve never talked to those people again.

    It’s hard and it’s endless and it’s also so good when the good does happen. My daughter is doing much better on a new medication and I am thankful. Her anxiety has gone down so much it’s unbelievable. She still has a few problems but night and day difference.

    This is going to sound awful but I’m so thankful that you yell at your children. You seem like an awesome mom but it helps me so much to know that you yell too. I did my fair share of yelling at my kids when they were younger and I wish I could take it back. I was by myself a lot of the time with three kids, two with high needs. I did my best but I wish I hadn’t yelled so much. All I remember about them growing up is being tired, all the time.

    You will all survive. Jack will be Jack and there will be a place for him the world. He is loved, that’s the most important thing.

    Reply

  9. Pianorox
    December 17, 2018 @ 11:21 am

    Beautiful children.

    Reply

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