12 Comments

  1. Alice
    April 30, 2018 @ 12:46 pm

    Beautiful

    Reply

  2. GP
    April 30, 2018 @ 12:51 pm

    “He is exactly who he is supposed to be.” So, true.
    I don’t think though that he “will live most of his life scared, and alone.”

    It helped us greatly to get together with other families who have children on the spectrum. Kids need to know that they are not the only ones who are different and that their diagnosis is not catastrophic or embarrassing or indicative of a miserable and lonely future. Our children need to connect with peers who are also on the spectrum. They need to so outside of school.

    It really helps when a child does not have to feel like they have to mask or that they are inferior to their siblings and peers. It helps the parents, too, when they can chill and don’t have to fear disapproval and judgement. It builds confidence.

    I have arranged big playdates where we invite kids from school (few of whom are neurotypical) to our home for movies or baking parties, cookie or gingerbread house decorating, craft parties, end-of-the-school year parties, and sometimes a combination of all of the above.

    Sometimes we invite families to meet up with us at a trampoline place or a gameroom or rent time at a play-gym or indoor playground (like one might for a birthday party except it’s just for playing). And with a parent there with each child, it was always very manageable. They knew that they could leave early if needed, no questions asked, and that there was not ever a need to apologize. In fact, it was a pact some of us once made.

    I learned to never underestimate the value of parallel play and other parallel activities. These get-togethers build community, self-acceptance, and consequently self-esteem. Our children, and we as parents, must develop a real sense of community to develop true self-acceptance.

    The future for our children does not have to be a lonely one when we realize that there will be a whole autistic community waiting and welcoming our child, although we have to teach our children how to access this community.

    And please, please be compassionate with yourself. You are doing the best you can. We all make mistakes, and when we know better, we can do better.”

    Reply

  3. MomOfStan
    April 30, 2018 @ 1:14 pm

    Love your writing! In his book “Uniquely Human” Barry Prizant states, “Autism isn’t an illness. It’s a different way of being human.”

    Reply

  4. Shawn Newswanger
    April 30, 2018 @ 4:19 pm

    Wow! Thank you so much for saying what all of us autism moms need to hear!

    Reply

  5. Joanna Fisher
    April 30, 2018 @ 6:21 pm

    So touching!

    Reply

  6. Mary Burris
    April 30, 2018 @ 7:40 pm

    As I am reading, big, wet tears are crawling down my cheeks. Your writing is so elegant and exquisite. May God continue to bless all of your family with humor, patience, empathy, and passion.

    Reply

  7. Kelly
    April 30, 2018 @ 11:55 pm

    I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful this is……

    Reply

  8. Gabriel's Angels
    May 2, 2018 @ 5:52 am

    Beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL! I truly believe our autistic kiddies are here to teach us love like no other. It is so hard for us, the parents, because their course doesn’t follow the ‘normal’ course of life. I’m still looking for the manual that explains it all ;).

    Reply

  9. Janet Anderson (Grandmother)
    May 2, 2018 @ 1:07 pm

    How touching! Jack is perfect in the eyes of God and he is blessed to have the parents God chose for him. Someday we will understand the WHY’S until then, you have all our love and support. Thank-u for the Gifts you bestow on us.

    Reply

  10. daffodilsandcoffee
    May 2, 2018 @ 10:24 pm

    Such a handsome young man. You’re doing an awesome job, Momma.

    Reply

  11. Janet Houston
    May 5, 2018 @ 11:31 pm

    As many of your lovely explanations do, this one brought a tear to my eyes. Mu grandson, now 7, is high functioning. I love him dearly, but am sad that he doesn’t know how to make friends. Maybe it won’t last forever. Your insights help me tremendously. Thank you

    Reply

  12. Stacey
    May 22, 2018 @ 2:05 pm

    Thank you for writing this. So often you are MY voice. When I don’t know how to articulate how to be the mom of a boy with ASD, you have already done it for me in your articles.

    Reply

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