1. Terence M. Boyd
    October 23, 2017 @ 10:00 am

    A significant percentage of our family is autistic so I am coming from a place of knowledge. I know we want the best for our children, but we have a much better life when we embrace whomever they are. My ex-wife complains about my Robbie, but I just love him and direct him when he needs it. My sister Peggy has Connor and Daniel who are very low functioning and now in their early thirties. She just appreciates them and does what she can. I see your son’s picture and all I can think is – what a star!


  2. Tina Mercer Cosgrove
    October 23, 2017 @ 10:18 am

    I too spend too much time apologizing….


  3. GP
    October 23, 2017 @ 10:48 am

    “I worry I spend so much of my time worrying about the adult you may become, that I am missing the chance to enjoy the child you are.” Yes! And that’s why Oreos and Redbox, and owners manuals are ok! More than ok. These things seem to give him comfort in a confusing, unpredictable world. And who knows, maybe he has a special interest in mechanical stuff. It may be worth fostering his interest in your car.

    Also, the fact that your son asked what kind of autism he has, shows that he is taking in and processing complex stuff. Makes one wonder what types of autism he was thinking about. He must have heard or read something about it.

    From one mom to another, please try not to worry about making him “better” and only about helping him to become “happier and safer.” And by the way, I strongly believe that more behavior therapy in pre-school could have robbed your child of a carefree childhood. At least for my child, it would have been the wrong approach. Compliance-based therapies can be very stressful and anxiety-inducing for some children. These approaches may or may not teach a useful skill that the child might have eventually learned even without behavior therapy, but for some children compliance-based therapy comes at too high of an emotional price. Please try not to look back. Things could have been better or they could have been a lot worse. Please try to enjoy the now. Look for the things that you love the most about your son and that are tangible and here right now.

    Ok. Enough unsolicited advice by a stranger for today. Wishing you and your family all the best and thank you for writing this blog!


  4. Joann D Carlson
    October 23, 2017 @ 11:14 am

    What a special mom I see in your post. Bless your heart! Our adopted son was hyperactive. Bright but disruptive throughout school. He would get put out in the hall in K. He was loved and cared about deeply by his 1st grade teacher who had also adopted a child years before who was hyperactive. Second grade had him in a class where the teacher wrote his name on the board every time she said he was bad and put check marks behind his name all week. Then we went for counseling and the counselor asked me who the problem was (the teacher or your son). She told me to go tell the teacher what needed to be done and to stop putting his name on the board and labeling him.I know your precious son’s life and your life are different than the one we walked but I can so identify with the repetitive words as we heard those as well. The first time I had a friend over and my son asked me for 6 cookies and I gave him 2 at a time. My friend Sandy said “he asked for 6 – he got 6 but 2 at a time”. You love Jack. Great nickname. We called Bruce “Brewster or Brucetta”. Jack is good! You are a great mom and I know that many other moms benefit from your walking with them through the life of autism.


  5. Amanda
    October 23, 2017 @ 1:53 pm

    “You know, my mother always tells me that everyone’s mind is a different world.” –Gave my chills. My hope is one day everyone can have this understanding 🙂


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