1. Pam Byrne
    November 7, 2016 @ 12:47 pm

    Carrie, bless your heart, you don’t fail every day, and you deserve an A+ instead of a D+. From one autism mom to another, give yourself more credit and cut yourself more slack. Man Wearing a Pinstripe Suit could be replaced, but no one can do your job. Hang in there!
    Pam, Alex’s mom


  2. Marie
    November 7, 2016 @ 12:48 pm

    I would give you an A+.


  3. Melody
    November 7, 2016 @ 2:07 pm

    Yes to this!!!! And while you are writing about your son Jack, this could have been a post about my 10 year old son Elliott. Who has all of the same diagnosis as Jack…autism, severe anxiety, amblyopia, and strabismus. We’ve yet to deal with headaches yet…but my 9 years old daughter is taking care of that one for us, lol!

    I think a hundred times a day, “I suck at this”, ” I am failing miserably”, or some other variation of self loathing…as I work harder poor out more of myself out than I EVER have at any other point in my life. How can one give so much and yet feel so worthless?!

    Thank you for these words and reminding me I am not alone in this. Hugs and prayers to you!


  4. Lisa Mertens
    November 7, 2016 @ 3:49 pm

    Carrie, you are an inspiration to all mothers. Your willingness to share your experiences is greatly appreciated. No mother is perfect, and I definitely believe that as long as we are doing our best, striving every day to be the best moms we can be, we deserve an A+++.


  5. Scott Wilcox
    November 7, 2016 @ 4:04 pm

    I feel it too, but I’m the dad. The mother deserted us when she was 7, but my parents helped so I could work and keep the insurance, etc., while they were still alive. I was able to retire early, so when it became impossible to work and keep good caregivers after she finished school at age 22, I quit the outside job. She’s now almost 32, has no way to communicate except by pointing and smiling, and can’t indicate when or where she hurts, except to cry. There are no relatives. I pray that there will be a group situation that works for her when I can’t do it anymore, and tell her weekly I wish she had a better dad. But I believe God gave her to me, instead of billions of other dads, for a reason. So I keep on loving her and giving her all I’ve got. We all do what we can, which is so much more than we ever would have imagined. God bless us, every one!


  6. Sandy Woods
    November 7, 2016 @ 5:52 pm

    Love, love, love the truth in this. Thank you for sharing your story. I am at a University hospital watching my sweet girl getting electrodes glued to her head for a long term eeg study. Maybe someday we will find a way to control the seizures she suffers. She tells me her Autism is her strength but epilepsy is her curse. We are all on a very special team few people understand.


  7. Carol Bruce
    November 7, 2016 @ 5:58 pm

    Don’t beat yourself up, Carrie! You are the best mother Jack could have, that’s why he was given to you. You are strong and loving, and you know him better than anyone else. Yes, your life is not smooth and easy, and continues to be quite a challenge, but you never give up. You are not a quitter!! You continue to do the best you can raising five beautiful children. I give you an A+!


  8. Julie P
    November 7, 2016 @ 6:20 pm

    Carrie, I love reading each week. I so get this. I so get you.

    And to Melody, “How can one give so much and yet feel so worthless?!”…I so relate.

    Hang in there, everybody.


  9. rocketbotmom
    November 7, 2016 @ 10:46 pm

    You deserve a A+ in my book. You did not fail because you made the appointments and took him in to see what was causing the headaches. Your love for each of your children is so apparent each week while reading your blog. You are strong, loving, and just the “perfect” mom for each one of your kiddos.



  10. Gabriel's Angels
    November 8, 2016 @ 3:53 am

    “I fail every single day. That’s what I do.” That cut me like a knife because that is exactly how I feel. Like I’m never doing enough for my son. “And what do you do?” I would have answered, “oh, just the toughest, most stressful and beautiful job in the world – I’m a Special Needs Stay At Home Mom”. A+ in my books!


  11. Andrea Adamitis Weickardt
    December 1, 2016 @ 7:01 pm

    Hi Carrie. Thank you for writing your thoughts down. I found you because of your BMI Dr Appt post. It hit home for me. I have a 13 year old son with Epilepsy. A chubby kiddo with anxiety, low muscle tone and no feeling of fullness. Ever. Its painful to visit the Neurologist every six months and talk about why my kid, who only eats three meals and a snack a day continues to gain weight. He also had a lazy eye. It was really, really prominent, but they did a minor surgery and it’s better. Maybe his eyes are seeing better. Anyway. Bless you. Keep writing. Try not to beat yourself up too bad. We all do. I understand your isolation as I stayed home for 8 years. You are making a difference. Much love to you and your family.


  12. Amy
    January 17, 2017 @ 10:06 pm

    You are doing a wonderful job, Carrie! However, I really relate to your feelings of inadequacy at times. I have five kids with one first grader on the spectrum and my oldest just diagnosed with ADD and anxiety. It’s a tough job. Thank you for sharing your world with us. It means a lot!


  13. Jane Hersey
    November 13, 2018 @ 3:18 am

    Hi Carrie,

    I happened upon your article while searching for something else, but I’m glad I did.
    Many years ago I was dealing with a daughter with behavior problems plus a husband with dreadful migraine headaches. To my surprise, we learned that the reason for both was what I was cooking and serving.

    We discovered that some of the synthetic additives in our food (such as dyes, artificial flavors, fake sweeteners, some preservatives) were triggering both issues and when we removed them and began using similar, but better products the changes in both symptoms were fast and dramatic. That was many years ago and we continue to enjoy the benefits, plus many more.

    This led to my volunteering in a nonprofit support group (The Feingold Association of the US). I have also written a book on this and you can read all of part one (free) at http://www.feingold.org. The book is titled “Why Can’t My Child Behave?”
    Some of the many families my colleagues and I have helped have autistic children. And, by the way, some have children who have had various vision disorders.

    Our program is quite simple. It involves buying groceries that are free of certain additives and also temporarily removing some foods that are very healthy and are well tolerated by most — but not all — people.
    Generally this change in food brings about major improvements for autistic kids, but sometimes we hear back from a family whose child no longer has any autistic characteristics!!!

    You are welcome to contact me if you would care to have more information.


    PS The American Academy of Pediatrics recently announced that they recognize food additives can trigger ADHD symptoms. Slowly, the medical community is beginning to understand that consuming additives made from petroleum is a really bad idea!


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