1. Deb
    October 12, 2015 @ 8:54 am

    My daughter is not autistic but she is non verbal and delayed. Anxiety is her biggest issue as well. In fact it is a bigger issue than her developmental delay. It causes her to pinch people, pull hair, scream, cry, it herself, bang her head against the floor or the wall, all in an effort to reduce her anxiety. It breaks my heart at times.


    • Elva
      October 19, 2015 @ 3:15 pm

      Hi Deb
      You are describing my daughter too. I’m not sure if she is autistic , we are waiting for the examination.How do you know your daughter is not autistic ?
      Let me know please.


  2. oshrivastava
    October 12, 2015 @ 9:36 am

    Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.


  3. Lorraine Weber
    October 12, 2015 @ 9:53 am

    Thank you Carrie, you put such light on a dark subject, our super power kids use these words that are bigger than them. I am going to share this with my son’s teachers because they have been judging him and us as parents because of his words. We need to teach others about this issue and the way you wrote about it is so on everyone’s level of understanding, thank you!!


  4. Sara
    October 12, 2015 @ 12:28 pm

    This is beautiful. On the one hand it is sad to hear about Jack’s anxiety, but how you figured out the “bad words” and are working on a solution is wonderful. Speaking of anxiety, have you heard of Defense Mode or Asperger Experts? Even tho their name has “Asperger” in it, i think they have some strategies to help with anxiety for anyone on the spectrum. Best wishes to you and your family. -Sara


  5. SleepyMom
    October 12, 2015 @ 1:20 pm

    Your post is so timely. Just last night my husaband said, “I’m kind of looking forward to when C— learns to curse.” I was like what?! But he’s right it might be a relief for him to feel like he has powerful words to express his anxiety and frustration with. He has an outburst when we leave the house, make noise when he’s concentrating, ask a question he’s not ready for, touch him when he’s not expecting it, say something using a different word than he would use, suggest a change in schedule or new activity and the list goes on and on forever. So if he’s going to have an outburst why not have a way to get the point across succintly with a nice loud, “F@$%K” instead of having to scream long enough and loud enough until you think everyone gets that you are really anxious/upset/frustrated! But I like your idea even better, we’ll teach him our own made up curse words and when he yells, “ah fuzzleduzzle” we’ll know it’s serious and his mind is going beserk without having our ears bleeding.
    Anxiety is the worst! So sorry to hear Jack’s is getting worse. We are on our 4th medication and 3rd year of cognitive behavioral therapy over here for just one of the 3 family members with an anxiety disorder. Overwhelming anxiety is the biggest factor in what our lifestyle looks like day to day. It can be even more life altering than developmental, cognitive, and physical disabilities for some people. Can’t wait till a magical medicine is discovered that cures anxiety and can be used for children.


  6. Rebecca C
    October 12, 2015 @ 6:26 pm

    I work with PreK students in what is now called a “Structured Class” because someone thought that was more PC than labeling it the Autism PreK Class. We do see students with more than Autism, even though they make up the majority. Many of them are nonverbal at this age and reading your post made me think that even if the only words these children would or could say were curse words….it would still be a HUGE achievement. Sadly, most of the world would only hear the bad words. You describe so well what it is that a child with Autism is feeling and how hard language is for them. You always bring me to tears and I love reading your posts.


  7. karenaspergersmom
    October 12, 2015 @ 9:41 pm

    Let me know how that goes. I have a 16 year-old with Aspergers. He is very intelligent, but also LOVES those curse words when frustrated. We may be a little late on trying the substitutes. He says, there is just no other way to express that frustration. Funny thing though, he does know not to use them at school, at least within earshot of his favorite teachers.


  8. Janet Anderson
    October 16, 2015 @ 2:44 pm

    All though my grandson is 16 now and does well in many areas, Anxiety is his biggest draw back that keeps him from moving forward. Along with his self image of himself makes it most difficult for my daughter to cope with all the new things going on everyday. Recently he is going to a small group after school with kids his age to interact with each other. He prefers to be at home in his room playing games on the computer. This is a life skills program and hopefully he will continue after the five weeks trial period. The Moms find it a support group as all their children are in the same age group. I hate to admit it, but as these children get older, it becomes so much more of a challenge to help them. It was suggested she keep him in this Life Skills Program after High School as after the age of 21,there is not much out there for them. Carrie is so good to share her story with all of us, as she still faces those teen age years. Anyone wanting to share anything regarding this age group, I would be only to happy to hear from you.
    Thank you once again for your weekly blog.
    Janet (grandmother)


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