1. michaelcharney
    November 25, 2013 @ 2:08 pm

    Marvelous post, Carrie. Both Renee and I feel for you (and I for Joe…). I had surgery two weeks ago (the day after Joe’s first, I believe) and Renee has been lifting and toting and cooking and cleaning and driving and shopping and… well, you know… and we’ve no kids…. And she’ll be doing it for about two more weeks, assuming all stays on track.

    Hope all goes well; prayers are with you (and Joe). (And, for that matter, Renee….)


  2. Claudia
    November 25, 2013 @ 6:12 pm

    I really enjoy your posts, so real! Don’t throw away the gopher stick, Bob is getting up there!


  3. farmlassy
    November 25, 2013 @ 6:40 pm

    I am praying for you. I understand the hubby, back, child in the spectrum issues. I understand the chill, the eggshell conversations, the mental and emotional fatigue. Praying for that extra bit of strength, for the patience of Job (who never had to live with an ill man), for those so rare opportunities when you can speak and be heard. Just praying. Vulnerability is a difficult thing to experience.


  4. ninamishkin
    November 25, 2013 @ 8:23 pm

    You’re doing great! Don’t be so hard on yourself!


  5. rachealkate
    November 25, 2013 @ 9:50 pm

    I discovered your post on marriage yesterday and loved it. I love that you write honestly and beautifully and it is all very raw and that you unafraid of the ugly.

    It struck me the most because I just wrote a post on how marriages ARE hard work but also so very mind-blowingly rewarding. And whenever you write about something hard or brutally honest, it kinda of lingers on and you think about said topic for the next couple of days so when WordPress suggested your post, I immediately clicked on it.

    Last night, I told my Joe about your Joe. And how you both wrote about the both sides of a coin. Then he told me excitedly how he went on a “like” spree on my blog and facebook page, I laughed and told him, you can’t do that, silly. You have to read it before you like it or it’s false advertising. But what I recognized was that it was his way of saying I support you too. It was his way of saying I’m in this with you and I really hate words but I’m in this with you.

    Reading about your marriages really made me think of my own and how J and I look at things differently and the reminder to step back and look at Oreo cookies a different way. (Holy shit, he just walked in with a chocolate muffin)

    I love what you wrote two weeks ago. But this post here? This is heart and the awesome and the beautiful of marriage. It is not always roses, it is stitched together with fear and courage, grace and forgiveness, try and trying again.

    J’s reply to my remark? He said, I read it all. Every single word you wrote on the blog and on the pages. I even subscribe to your blog so I know when you have an update. Even when you don’t know, I got your back. (Well, except the make-up post he said, he said he skimped through because he got lost somewhere between foundation and fake eyelashes)

    So I wanted to encourage you and let you know that you are not alone. Somewhere out there on the other side of the world, in a different continent and timezone, there is a girl and another Joe rooting for the both of you. Even in the ugly. 🙂


  6. S.
    November 26, 2013 @ 5:08 am

    Gosh. This post brought tears to my eyes. I want to give you a huge hug and tell you that Joe appreciates every single little picking-dental-floss-off-the-floor thing. Really. And you still have a sense of humor about it. I don’t know what else to say… This made me feel like a horrible person, ridiculously hopeful and mournful all at the same time.
    Xo -S.


  7. DCTdesigns
    November 26, 2013 @ 5:56 pm

    Ugh! I just commented on the post for the last surgery and then realized Joe was back under. Not good. So I will simply send thoughts of a speedy recovery and a pain free existence. I too acutely understand his pain.

    Again you’ve made me appreciate the efforts of my now ex-husband during my own recovery. I am supremely independent and terrible at asking for help. He’d come home from work to find me on the floor lying flat on my back moving furniture 1/8th of an inch at a time. He’d be furious. I didn’t get it until now. He was afraid.

    So as I go back for the biggest surgery I’ve had to date I plan to try to acknowledge and ask for the help of my friends and loved ones because I know we could all use a little grace in our lives.


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