16 Comments

  1. stacyturkeot
    March 13, 2017 @ 10:54 am

    This is breathtakingly beautiful…and I feel confident your in-laws would agree 😉 Thank you for sharing this.

    Reply

  2. Lisa
    March 13, 2017 @ 11:09 am

    Beautiful post. I wait for them every Monday and they always touch my soul. Thank you.

    Reply

  3. Jeanne-Marie
    March 13, 2017 @ 11:42 am

    Enjoyed reading this. Very cute photo of Jack.

    Reply

  4. John Fons
    March 13, 2017 @ 12:21 pm

    Dear Carrie, I know one more thing your son is trying to tell you every day: “I love you.” You may interpret correctly his need, “Make room for me. I am here,” but there is another need which not only he but everyone else tries to express to some degree with greater or less success and this makes us all equal before the greatest need of what it means to be human. Your son has autism, but autism does not define him as a human being, any more than autism defines you as his mother. Ironically, it proves beyond all question the tenacity and power of your love and that extends into every element of your family. I am sure you have said this to yourself and your readers already and I am not bringing a new message, but I do re-iterate it for you today. You and your son and your family demonstrate not simply what it means to live with autism, but what it means to live triumphantly with love.

    Reply

  5. Cathy Ballou Mealey
    March 13, 2017 @ 12:31 pm

    Best moment: The thing is, once in a lifetime, you get the chance to meet a person who is unlike any other person you have ever met.

    Reply

  6. Mary Beth Danielson
    March 13, 2017 @ 12:43 pm

    Long ago, my sister who was dealing with tough cancer at the time, said, “This sucks, but if it has to land somewhere, I’m glad it’s me and not someone else I love.” No one seems to know why autism lands where it lands. But if it had to land in some parents’ lives, it seems as if you and Joe are extraordinarily determined and able to accompany Jack through this diagnosis and these long-short years.

    Reply

  7. agshap
    March 13, 2017 @ 4:33 pm

    I work in a school that also has autistic children. Plus I have a grandson who is autistic. And I must confess my heart goes out to them all. I have also learned what works and what doesn’t in communicating with them and my grandson. Sometimes all it takes is a back rub…wish that would work on some of the mean kids that I run across these days.

    Reply

  8. Kirsten Lund
    March 13, 2017 @ 6:14 pm

    Hello,

    Thank you, for sharing your story.

    As a mother of an adult, 34 years old man with Autisme, I surely can relate to your post.
    I too, used to spend many nights awake thinking, why me.

    Now I think I know why.

    He was given to me, because . . .

    God never put a bigger load on our shoulders, than we can cope.

    And my husband and I, did cope, we did survive, we did have another child, and another and another,
    and all 4 of them suffer from Autism or Autisme like syndromes.

    When I was 48 years old, even I was diagnosed with the Autisme spekter.

    And looking back into history, my grandmother, had a brother, that was placed in an institution.
    They thought he was plain stupid, as he couldn´t learn to talk – back in 1920.

    My kids are all grown up now, still learning how to cope with the world, still having problems finding friends.

    They have left home, and manage to live on their own. I´m still very much in the background, helping them.

    I won´t have grand kids, though at some point I hoped, I would, but, I´ve actually told my kids about the risk they might take, having children, as Autisme lays in the Genes.

    I love my kids, to the moon and back, and even beyond that.

    My husband and I, celebrated our 36th marriage annerversary last December.

    We fought together, and we believe the difficulties we had with our kids, made our marriage better and even stronger.

    Lots of best wishes,

    Kirsten

    Reply

  9. Laurie Krzywosinski
    March 13, 2017 @ 8:11 pm

    Carrie…you are an amazing mother, author, person/being….you make me strive to be a better person! Thank you so much for sharing you life with us! (((((Hugs to you, Jack, and all of the rest of your family)))))

    Reply

  10. June
    March 16, 2017 @ 7:22 pm

    You were given Jack because no one else in the world matched his needs like you as a mother. Just as you were given your other 4 in the same way. Keep on keeping on Momma, and keep a closet full of pillows on reserve :).

    Reply

  11. Kim
    March 17, 2017 @ 2:49 pm

    Carrie – amazing article. You are such an inspiration and Jack is definitely a special person. Thank you for sharing your journey, the good times and the trying times. Hugs to all.

    Reply

  12. Rob Gorski
    March 18, 2017 @ 9:38 pm

    As a father to 3 boys with Autism, I can relate to much of what you spoke of. I’ve never put focus on the why’s but instead focused on the how’s. I don’t care why my kids have Autism, I care about how I’m going to help them prepare for the world and the world for them.

    In my experience, every single day with my kids is a new adventure. Sometimes that adventure is absolutely overwhelming, especially when it comes to the sensory side of things. Things are rarely ever the same thing twice and at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve learned more from my kids than they’ve learned from me.

    Great post.. I’ve added you to my blogroll.. 🙂

    Reply

  13. C
    March 19, 2017 @ 1:22 am

    I’m an autistic adult and I’m disgusted by this whole article. Do you even understand your child? Being autistic makes the world very intense for us. We need to feel in control of some aspect of our sensory experiences throughout the day. That’s why so many of us like rigid routines and could be why he constantly asks you about what’s going to happen.

    He could be searching to see if something is going to change suddenly. He could be seeking the reassurance that plans aren’t going to change. Maybe if you told him you’ll let him know immediately if anything changes, it will ease his mind.

    Freaking out about a pillow missing? The symmetry of his environment is disturbed. A lot of autistic people like symmetry and predictability, and when that goes out the window so do our ability to cope. Some things cause a little frustration, others cause a complete meltdown.

    Make more of an effort to understand your boy and you’ll realize his brain works perfectly as it should for him. Just because his “perfect” is not your “perfect” doesn’t make it a defect.

    We don’t get a choice in being autistic, but you have a choice to be accepting and accommodating. Try it sometime and you won’t be so frustrated.

    If this comment makes you angry, I’ll take it as a hint that I’ve hit a nerve and that I’m right. People don’t like the truth presented to them in such a stark manner, but the autistic community is tired of being ignored or talked over by people who tear our narrative away from us.

    So, for once in your life, *listen* to your boy.

    Reply

  14. Kate
    March 19, 2017 @ 1:22 pm

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Reply

  15. Amie
    April 4, 2017 @ 3:01 pm

    Thank you Carrie. My daughter does not have autism, she has Turner Syndrome which involves a host of issues. I cried when I read this post as it really hit home. Thank you for being so real.

    Reply

  16. Amie
    April 4, 2017 @ 3:05 pm

    I should specify…that was a response to “I know why my son has autism” post I saw on facebook.

    Reply

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