12 Comments

  1. Pam Byrne
    November 7, 2016 @ 12:47 pm

    Carrie, bless your heart, you don’t fail every day, and you deserve an A+ instead of a D+. From one autism mom to another, give yourself more credit and cut yourself more slack. Man Wearing a Pinstripe Suit could be replaced, but no one can do your job. Hang in there!
    Fondly,
    Pam, Alex’s mom

    Reply

  2. Marie
    November 7, 2016 @ 12:48 pm

    I would give you an A+.

    Reply

  3. Melody
    November 7, 2016 @ 2:07 pm

    Yes to this!!!! And while you are writing about your son Jack, this could have been a post about my 10 year old son Elliott. Who has all of the same diagnosis as Jack…autism, severe anxiety, amblyopia, and strabismus. We’ve yet to deal with headaches yet…but my 9 years old daughter is taking care of that one for us, lol!

    I think a hundred times a day, “I suck at this”, ” I am failing miserably”, or some other variation of self loathing…as I work harder poor out more of myself out than I EVER have at any other point in my life. How can one give so much and yet feel so worthless?!

    Thank you for these words and reminding me I am not alone in this. Hugs and prayers to you!

    Reply

  4. Lisa Mertens
    November 7, 2016 @ 3:49 pm

    Carrie, you are an inspiration to all mothers. Your willingness to share your experiences is greatly appreciated. No mother is perfect, and I definitely believe that as long as we are doing our best, striving every day to be the best moms we can be, we deserve an A+++.

    Reply

  5. Scott Wilcox
    November 7, 2016 @ 4:04 pm

    I feel it too, but I’m the dad. The mother deserted us when she was 7, but my parents helped so I could work and keep the insurance, etc., while they were still alive. I was able to retire early, so when it became impossible to work and keep good caregivers after she finished school at age 22, I quit the outside job. She’s now almost 32, has no way to communicate except by pointing and smiling, and can’t indicate when or where she hurts, except to cry. There are no relatives. I pray that there will be a group situation that works for her when I can’t do it anymore, and tell her weekly I wish she had a better dad. But I believe God gave her to me, instead of billions of other dads, for a reason. So I keep on loving her and giving her all I’ve got. We all do what we can, which is so much more than we ever would have imagined. God bless us, every one!

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  6. Sandy Woods
    November 7, 2016 @ 5:52 pm

    Love, love, love the truth in this. Thank you for sharing your story. I am at a University hospital watching my sweet girl getting electrodes glued to her head for a long term eeg study. Maybe someday we will find a way to control the seizures she suffers. She tells me her Autism is her strength but epilepsy is her curse. We are all on a very special team few people understand.

    Reply

  7. Carol Bruce
    November 7, 2016 @ 5:58 pm

    Don’t beat yourself up, Carrie! You are the best mother Jack could have, that’s why he was given to you. You are strong and loving, and you know him better than anyone else. Yes, your life is not smooth and easy, and continues to be quite a challenge, but you never give up. You are not a quitter!! You continue to do the best you can raising five beautiful children. I give you an A+!

    Reply

  8. Julie P
    November 7, 2016 @ 6:20 pm

    Carrie, I love reading each week. I so get this. I so get you.

    And to Melody, “How can one give so much and yet feel so worthless?!”…I so relate.

    Hang in there, everybody.

    Reply

  9. rocketbotmom
    November 7, 2016 @ 10:46 pm

    You deserve a A+ in my book. You did not fail because you made the appointments and took him in to see what was causing the headaches. Your love for each of your children is so apparent each week while reading your blog. You are strong, loving, and just the “perfect” mom for each one of your kiddos.

    Janet

    Reply

  10. Gabriel's Angels
    November 8, 2016 @ 3:53 am

    “I fail every single day. That’s what I do.” That cut me like a knife because that is exactly how I feel. Like I’m never doing enough for my son. “And what do you do?” I would have answered, “oh, just the toughest, most stressful and beautiful job in the world – I’m a Special Needs Stay At Home Mom”. A+ in my books!

    Reply

  11. Andrea Adamitis Weickardt
    December 1, 2016 @ 7:01 pm

    Hi Carrie. Thank you for writing your thoughts down. I found you because of your BMI Dr Appt post. It hit home for me. I have a 13 year old son with Epilepsy. A chubby kiddo with anxiety, low muscle tone and no feeling of fullness. Ever. Its painful to visit the Neurologist every six months and talk about why my kid, who only eats three meals and a snack a day continues to gain weight. He also had a lazy eye. It was really, really prominent, but they did a minor surgery and it’s better. Maybe his eyes are seeing better. Anyway. Bless you. Keep writing. Try not to beat yourself up too bad. We all do. I understand your isolation as I stayed home for 8 years. You are making a difference. Much love to you and your family.

    Reply

  12. Amy
    January 17, 2017 @ 10:06 pm

    You are doing a wonderful job, Carrie! However, I really relate to your feelings of inadequacy at times. I have five kids with one first grader on the spectrum and my oldest just diagnosed with ADD and anxiety. It’s a tough job. Thank you for sharing your world with us. It means a lot!

    Reply

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