14 Comments

  1. Karen
    October 3, 2016 @ 11:47 am

    Thanks for this insight. My neighbor’s son is a 6 year old with autism. Although she (the mother) is socially withdrawn, I better appreciate the challenges, and I hope, the joys she experiences every day.

    Reply

  2. Heather Butow
    October 3, 2016 @ 12:39 pm

    Carrie, I often feel as if your posts speak directly to me, one mother to another. This post is actually written specifically as if you know me & understand mine & my family’s struggles & are talking to me. That sounds a little silly, but it’s true. I would enjoy reading your blog even if I did not have an autistic son, I love the way you write. But I do have an autistic son & we are at the beginning of a new life journey that is all wrapped up in this spectrum thing. When I read your beautiful raw words I often cry or laugh, because you ‘get it’. If it’s ok, I would like to email you to share my story. I’m very alone & overwhelmed in this life right now & long for someone to talk to who really ‘gets it’. I don’t expect us to become long distance internet friends or something. I just want to tell you about me & my family because I know so much about yours even though we have never met & live far away from each other. By the way, I live in Wyoming. I remember from some of your back posts I read that your son used to dream of visiting here. I thought that was cool 🙂 Thanks again for writing, I look forward each week to reading. I will email you sometime. Maybe not this week, as I am actually trying to prepare myself for my son’s first IEP meeting. It’s in 3 days & I’m freaking out a little. He is only in kindergarten & I can’t believe this is happening. Anyway, happy Monday 🙂 -Heather B.

    Reply

  3. Kelly
    October 3, 2016 @ 1:00 pm

    Thank you, your words surrounded me with love. I know I’m not alone but often feel it. I have yet to know another a
    Parent personally dealing with this as my son is also 12. So thank you!

    Reply

  4. Christina
    October 3, 2016 @ 1:55 pm

    Thank you for writing this post, Carrie! My son was formally diagnosed last month and I have been overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed before but something about the official words on paper brought tears. Your words today are the huge hug I needed to soldier on. Thank you!💗

    Reply

    • Scott Wilcox
      October 3, 2016 @ 2:49 pm

      Christina,
      The words and thoughts of Carrie transcend all the things I could say to you today, and Carrie says it best. You are not alone, as I was, and still am in comparison to the spectrum. But I have found other parents of children with rare disorders like my daughter (Angelman Syndrome-rate of 1 in 20,000 births) who have helped me cope these 31 years of her life. And, bloggers like Carrie have certainly helped also. May God bless you on your journey. It will have many of the beautiful flowers Carrie talks about.
      ..thoughts from California

      Reply

      • Christina
        October 10, 2016 @ 11:25 am

        Thank you, for your kind words, Scott!

        Reply

  5. Jackie
    October 3, 2016 @ 6:05 pm

    My son is in managed recovery from ASD. He regressed from a medication and vaccines. Recovery is very possible. Your kids can feel better, and not have heavy metals and viruses from the live bacteria and junk injected into their little precious bodies. The libe viruses cause an auto immune reaction much like the other dozens of auto immune diseases. Healing happens daily. Don’t wait cause your kids will be in their teens or older by the time you awaken and realize this is a doable journey.

    Reply

  6. Tammy
    October 4, 2016 @ 12:51 am

    thank you. sometimes you really need to hear…it’s not my fault and I am not alone. Thank you

    Reply

  7. yesterday today and forever
    October 5, 2016 @ 12:18 am

    here is someone who knows what taking responsibility is about. Don’t enable these companies to keep poisoning and harming our children by denying any culpability in the hand you played in your child’s brain damage. I really don’t want to be harsh here, but you are a popular author who has a large group of people who depend on you to be honest. http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/how-i-gave-my-son-autism/#comment-193650

    Reply

    • Heather Butow
      October 5, 2016 @ 2:38 pm

      I’m not one to start or step into debates on threads of comments on the internet, but in this instance I can’t just hold my tounge. I pity people like you & Jackie up there who go around spewing your uneducated garbage about autism to the world, usually targeting other parents who are confused & hurting inside. I’m sure you ladies have read all of Jenny McCarthy’s books & give your children bleach enemas too. There has been autism since humans have existed, long before vaccinations. It’s genetic & just a naturally occurring variant in the way neurons are laid out in the brain. Luck of the draw, really. If you ladies dug deeper into actual science literature (new research, not the outdated biased bullshit floating around) you may be enlightened. Or maybe read something worth while like Neurotribes by Steve Silberman. Autistic people have always been, but it used to be that they coped, adapted & did their best to blend in to society, or they were hidden away from the world in asylums to rot until they died, often suffering unimaginable abuses & torture. Some still do suffer at the hands of their caretakers who think they are damaged & defective & abuse their children under the guise of ‘fixing’ & ‘curing’ them. The only way to ‘cure’ autism would be to open up the brain & rewire it. What autistic people need is love, acceptance & support from their family. Which is what Carrie Cariello does for her son. She is honest & never tries to pretend to know about things she does not( like you ladies), she writes about her own life & experiences within it. Parents should check out some blogs written by successful adult Autistic people, like Nick Walker, Judy Endow & Michelle Sutton. There are more out there but these are good places to start. Don’t buy into the fear mongering anti-vaccination rhetoric. Your children just need & want your love & support, give them that & they will be ok no matter what!

      Reply

      • Scott Wilcox
        October 5, 2016 @ 3:08 pm

        Thank you, Heather. That needs to be said, and you did it extremely well. I’m not a scientist or medical researcher, just a dad who tried to find out what happened, like “What did I do wrong, or who can I blame?” It took almost five years but my girl was finally diagnosed, correctly. No she is not on the spectrum, but some similarities are there, along with dozens of other conditions that have corresponding attributes, none of which really fit her. I do read copious amounts of research however, and it all boils down to “They don’t really know why.”
        My girl has a rare syndrome, but none of the approximately 2,000 in the US have all of the characteristics, because we all come from different generations of the gene pool. And that mixes things up.
        But I sure did want to blame it on that elusive “Somebody, or something” over 30 years ago. Now, I just try to cope with the day-to-day, and rely on other parents for information as to what has helped with their family, and then consider if I want to try doing those things for/with her. The specialists offer advice, too, and have multiple contacts with individuals they have had contact with, but few of the “professionals” get to live our lives.
        God bless us, everyone.

        Reply

  8. terismyth
    October 15, 2016 @ 3:17 pm

    HI Carrie- I can also remember the day my son was diagnosed w autism. I may have lost a piece of myself that day. Like the way I looked at the world. I was naive and innocent and didn’t have a clue about how to go about raising a son w autism. Would he graduate from middle school and high school? Would he have any friends who would love and accept him for who he is? Would my husband and I agree on circumstances when things got tough? It was all an unknown.

    Yet all is ok. I became a fighter and an advocate for my son so he could get services from the school district. I begged and pleaded w teachers and now professors since he is in college now on ways to manipulate the system. I didn’t let anyone get in my way of keeping my son on track. Yes. My husband and I have disagreed on many occasions regarding how to raise our son. But I can’t complain. We don’t have it so bad. We all want the best for our sons and daughters on the spectrum.

    And Andrew HAS friends. Lots of them. He got involved with the choir in college and that has been a blessing. He reaches out to friends and acquaintances whenever he can. He is writing a piece of music that raises awareness on autism. He has plans on asking all of his choir friends and musicians to perform a concert and have him conduct them. He is passionate about helping others who have walked in his autism shoes.

    Of course, my goal is to get him graduated from college. He is in his 6th year and after this semester has about 2 or 3 classes to go. He is close. So close. Yet he can get distracted when he chooses to write his music and not write his essays. He gets distracted when he decides to play video games for hours and forgets to eat. He gets distracted when his boss at the Taekwondo studio asks him to work extra hours even though his paper was due yesterday or last week.

    Yes. I have a job to do. My job is to make sure my son gets the help he needs to get through his classes. It may be listening to Dante instead of reading it. It may be writing to his professors to let them know “where he is at” emotionally before he checks out and gives up as he has done in the past. Its a process Carrie. My hope for you is that you stay the course. Do not give up. No matter what happens, you will always have a voice and advocate for your son.

    He is special. You are the lucky one to be given this boy. It may not seem that way now, but just hold on. He may surprise you someday and be a famous composer, conductor or writer. Enjoy the ride…

    Teri

    Reply

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