13 Comments

  1. Danielle
    February 29, 2016 @ 11:54 am

    Yes! We have a bunny too–she was originally an Easter “purse” from Gymboree (thought shaped like a stuffed bunny, just with a little strap on top). Gizzy Bunny (no idea where that name came from) is the first thing we put in the suitcase for travel. I actually did go on ebay and find backups because we have a lot of Gizzy Bunny related anxiety in our house too–not sure if mine or my daughter’s is greater, given the frantic searches we have conducted for a lost Gizzy Bunny, usually at night.

    Your post brought tears to my eyes because I feel like I struggle with the same things–my daughter is also “high-functioning” and her intelligence combined with her rigidity try my patience in ways that also break my heart. We finally had the appointment we have waited 18 months for with Kennedy Krieger last week and I am hoping it will get a little bit better but for now we just try to live one minute at a time. Thanks for writing–I always enjoy your blog.

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  2. Pam Carlson
    February 29, 2016 @ 12:19 pm

    Wow….you touched my heart. My son is 30 and I really feel your motherly concerns….I have the same ones. And they’ll never go away. Hugs.

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  3. Jacquie
    February 29, 2016 @ 12:19 pm

    Oh, my. This was a six-tissue story if ever there was one. I suggest you find a seamstress who can try to replicate Bunny as closely as possible. Of course Jack will immediately know the difference, but if push ever comes to shove a replacement just might save the day – or night.

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  4. Laura
    February 29, 2016 @ 1:12 pm

    Would it give Jack any peace of mind if you put something like a tile tracker inside of the bunny? That way you could track him down if he was lost…

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  5. GP
    February 29, 2016 @ 1:25 pm

    Awww, so happy that Jack has his bunny buddy, but so sad about his anxiety. I can definitely relate. For years, my daughter’s friends were an ever-growing collection of plush dogs. On every vacation, we “adopted” a new plush dog. They had it really good. She would play dog school with them and they would have vision checks, sight words, standardized reading tests, movie day, field day, and even behavior charts. It was always bitter sweet to watch her play, all by herself. And then, one day, as a preteen, she outgrew them. They are still loved (they are her friends after all), but she can now live without them. -I can also relate to the comfort vs. progress issue that you wrote so eloquently about. It caused me a lot of inner turmoil until I realized that with love and comfort, progress will ensue automatically, on the child’s own schedule. I realized that trying to push towards progress may just make the anxiety and rigidity worse, and learning would actually get harder. It is not easy.- Last, but not least, I bet you could find a back-up pink Carter bunny on Ebay, but the question is if that would help. If Bunny would get lost, he probably would miss the original bunny. I would ask him what he would miss most about Bunny or what he fears most about losing the bunny, and then perhaps he could help you come up with a worst-case scenario back-up plan, which may include a back-up bunny or a special prayer at night to keep Bunny safe if he should ever get lost (maybe he fears that lost toys suffer the same fate as in Toy Story 3 or on the Island of Misfits; my daughter is still traumatized by Toy Story 3).

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  6. Inga
    February 29, 2016 @ 1:57 pm

    Thank you for writing.

    Reply

  7. Tammy
    March 1, 2016 @ 1:17 am

    We have a blanket named Harry. When Nash puked uo to 7 times a day…Harry got washed a lot. Then we would not have a Harry to go to sleep with. I was frantic to find a second Harry that was just like the first. It did not exist. So, I found the best 2nd Harry….called….2nd Harry. Then we needed more so I found big Harry. Then when he went to daycare of his grandmas house, they all needed a Harry. I found colored ones at Baby’s R Us. Nash is 10 and still needs Harry. and 2nd Harry. and big Harry.

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  8. Tracy Vatnsdal
    March 1, 2016 @ 7:05 am

    We have duck and cow. They’re those soft square blanket wubbies with a head on them and he tucks them both under his head a certain way every night. And we do have a backup after they were lost for a few weeks at the grandparents where they were actually have hiding under the bed.
    Have you considered putting the original bell/rattle back in to ease Jack’s concern? Ask him. He may like that or he will surprise you with a different answer. I doubt that he will shake it like he used to, but the familiarity may comfort you both!
    Your words each week are as if they’re my own as we are two moms adrift in the same ocean. I wish I lived closer so we could share a cup of coffee sometime!

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  9. Susan Sisk
    March 1, 2016 @ 7:46 am

    Carrie, I can only tell you it does get easier. My son is now 28 and we are (as always) living in the moment. And, the moments are good! We will never be at the destination, we know that – it is the journey that is so great!

    Reply

  10. Kim Schulz
    March 1, 2016 @ 9:32 am

    Oh Carrie. You always bring me to tears. You WERE and ARE there for him… But you have to take care of you too! Keep your sanity as well so you can help him when he needs you the most.

    We have “blankie”. As attached as Ethan was/is, he would never accept a substitute, even if it was the exact same blanket. Didn’t smell the same and he would reject it. We logged hours looking for that thing…. Ethan screaming for it in the background. I even talked with an inventor about creating a tracker for it! It has been repaired by grandma several times, but now even she thinks it is hopeless. I hope someday soon he will allow me to transform it into a small pillow… A bit more conventionally “acceptable” now that he is 12. He comes home from the stress of school each day, and I always find him in his room, that blanket pushed up to his face so he can breathe in the calm security of “blankie”.

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  11. B.
    March 1, 2016 @ 8:05 pm

    I follow via my rss reader. I tear up with almost every post.
    Is this your bunny on eBay?

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Carters-Just-One-Year-Cream-Bunny-Plush-Baby-Toy-Rattle-Lovey-Pink-Gingham-Bow-/331769579800

    Reply

    • Carrie Cariello
      March 1, 2016 @ 8:21 pm

      Yes! Another reader also sent me the e-bay link. Thank you! I ordered it….probably more for myself than for Jack. 😉

      Reply

  12. Beth
    March 4, 2016 @ 5:35 pm

    Oh hun! My boy has autism to and I know I’ve made mistakes, just like the way youre portraying it through bunnies eyes. You’re being so hard on yourself! Just because you’ve dedicated yourself and your beautiful writing to Jack proves you are an amazing mom to him. 🙂

    Reply

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