5 Comments

  1. C
    May 11, 2015 @ 1:34 pm

    I have a child who is not autistic, but who resides in the same zip code. Some stims, some sensory issues, some definite social issues, but they don’t call it autism and it also comes with some delays. I definitely understand the hovering. As an introvert, it wears me down.

    My mom passed away almost 2 years ago. My dad passed away 8 months later. The kids were very close to my mom….not so much to my dad. I was raised a believer (Baptist) and our kids have been too.

    My experience is that this child is still very much processing it all, but that it comes out in the most awkward, jarring way at times that can be pretty hard on the one who is grieving. For example, one day when I was literally merging onto the interstate, she randomly piped up with, “So is grandma a skeleton now?” Pardon me while I swerve, sweetheart. I think I just said, “I cannot talk about this right now. We can talk about this when we’re parked.” and turned on some music to change the subject.

    She cried long and hard and loud at the hospice the day that my mom was dying (yes, we were there less than a day), but then has never cried about it since. Lots of questions, always random ones, and about the time I’m ready to follow that question into a full-fledged conversation, the whole thing shifts into a convo about Shakespeare or the Romans or something else. I’m aiming to follow her lead, answer the questions she asks, and trust that she’s asking as much as she can handle right now.

    The day after my mom passed away, my daughter told me that she was jealous that grandma was getting to play with our hamsters and getting to meet Moses and Noah and Jesus. Yes, hon, she’s doing just fine. She’s happy and healed.

    It’s closing in on 2 years and still, every time I say that we’re going to meet grandma and grandpa for lunch (meaning my in-laws, of course), she immediately without fail will say, “You mean the ones that are alive?” Yep, the alive ones.

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  2. Rebekah Miller
    May 11, 2015 @ 10:54 pm

    I worry about Luke. Luke is 12, and while not on the spectrum, he struggles with anxiety and depression. He is my constant companion and I am his most trusted confidant. Who would understand him and help him if I were gone? I mean, Jonathan would try to help him, but Jonathan and Luke’s bio-mom don’t seem to understand Luke in the same way.

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  3. oshrivastava
    May 12, 2015 @ 2:16 am

    Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.

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  4. Ann Kilter
    May 12, 2015 @ 9:13 pm

    My oldest daughter would look at my face when talking to a third person to see how she should react. She is 28 and I still need to remind her occasionally to look at the person she is talking to or who is talking to her. Occasionally. She has come such a long way.

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  5. Jeff
    May 19, 2015 @ 1:56 pm

    My son Jack loves to be around my wife. She is calm and keeps him grounded and calm and safe. I am a bit more high-strung, and always busy. Jack likes to hang out with my wife and likes to do active things with me. We have accepted the fact that he will be with us for a while… maybe (possibly/probably) for a long while. He has just turned 14. As we were getting him ready for bed last night he was have a calm moment with my wife. He wanted to know if he could live in our house forever. She asked him if he wanted to go out and have a house and kids of his own. There was this big pause as he contemplated this. Then he asked her if he could bring his kids to our house and have her raise them. He asked her if she could be a mommy to two families of kids. Yes, our son Jack will be around us for a great long while……and maybe, if we are lucky, his kids too.

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